1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:03,837
This is the test.
2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,089
It's a bit low.
3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:10,427
Let's try again.
4
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:13,472
Looks a bit better.
5
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,226
Okay, is this thing on?
6
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,316
What now?
7
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:26,485
Hey, guys.
8
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,529
What are you doing?
9
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,865
I wanna try it, daddy.
10
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,576
I wanna try to do it to you.
11
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,411
So it's recording
the whole thing.
12
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,623
Video is movement,
as opposed to still.
13
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,750
So you can do cool dancing.
14
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,210
[kid laughing]
15
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,169
[Jesse] Did it.
16
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,087
[Andy] You got one?
17
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:49,925
-Let's take a look.
-[laughs]
18
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,767
[Vashti] Here comes Indi.
19
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,186
[Andy] Aw, you're big,
aren't you?
20
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,437
[Vashti] Ready, Jesse?
21
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:04,022
Wow, through his legs.
22
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,066
Okay, hang on. Whoo!
23
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,986
[Jesse] Dad, dad like this?
24
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,697
Dad, dad like this?
25
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,698
[Andy] Yeah.
26
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,199
[Indigo] Hi, daddy.
27
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,042
[Vashti] So what have
you got there, Andy pants?
28
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,252
So this just arrived.
29
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,170
Sharp.
30
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,755
That's real metal.
31
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,635
[Vashti] That was daddy's
sword in Spartacus, Jesse.
32
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,553
Can I hold it?
33
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,305
And look,
they've put my name on it.
34
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,681
[Vashti] Spartacus being
the start
35
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,100
of this crazy old journey.
36
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,102
[Jesse] Whoa, this is heavy.
37
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,270
[Andy] It's really heavy.
38
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,147
[Indigo] Heavy, heavy.
39
00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,649
[Vashti] So here we
have my beautiful husband
40
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,235
who has just finished
his bone marry biopsy.
41
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,320
Was I? I must've been out.
42
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,946
-[Vashti] Yeah.
-I don't remember much.
43
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,199
But the cancer is back.
44
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,077
And, I guess where we're at is
45
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:03,332
at a point of learning to
live with cancer again,
46
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,585
and all the repercussions
and fears
47
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,045
and everything
that go with that.
48
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,006
[Andy] And that's why we need
to take it day by day,
49
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,216
beat this disease and...
50
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,972
Live happily ever after.
51
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,062
[indistinct audio]
52
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,859
We have a way
in our lives and world
53
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,236
where if we really focus
on something
54
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,863
and we really want
to make something happen,
55
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,657
we put absolutely everything
into it.
56
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,574
Yummy.
57
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,992
So there's a ham that's
slightly overcooked.
58
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,454
[Vashti]
Even if it takes years,
we are capable,
59
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,165
together, Andy and I, of making
60
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,625
extraordinary things happen.
61
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,461
[chattering]
62
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,963
[Andy]
Vashti and I have always had
63
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,384
an amazing relationship,
and we've achieved some
64
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,762
quite remarkable
things together
in a relatively short time.
65
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,475
Because we believe that
all that is attainable.
66
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,689
And it's such
a powerful place to be
67
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,066
when you can think like that.
68
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,027
It creates a space for you
to be clear
69
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:18,407
and to run your life with your
intuition and not with fear.
70
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,367
[laughing]
71
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,497
Our life
has never been ordinary.
72
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,957
Thank god, you know?
73
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,377
And we have a commitment that
we have an extraordinary life.
74
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,462
Look at that face.
You see that face?
75
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,797
[Vashti] But it doesn't matter
76
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,258
if we are successful or not.
77
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:41,304
It's about the journey
and if you commit to it,
78
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,473
something extraordinary
will come of it.
79
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,810
[Vashti]
Hey, Indi, how old are you
going to be on your birthday?
80
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,979
-Three.
-[Vashti] Three?
81
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,397
With five fingers. [laughs]
82
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,274
[Andy]
How old are you going to be?
83
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,402
-Six.
-[Vashti] Holy Mackerel, six.
84
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,737
-[Andy] Sixteen?
-No, six.
85
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,739
[Vashti] And how old are
you going to be, old bugger?
86
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,200
-[Andy] I'm going to be 80.
-No, 40.
87
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,245
[Andy] 39, I'm going to be
this year.
88
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,164
-[Vashti] What a year.
-What a year.
89
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,999
-[Vashti] The year.
-I shall remember it.
90
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,584
-[Vashti laughs]
-Time.
91
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,010
[woman 1] Okay.
92
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,306
[woman 2] It's still running?
93
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,265
[woman 1] Yup.
94
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,394
[man] Take five-three.
95
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:30,812
Thank you.
96
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,440
[Andy] I've spent the last
eight years
97
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,609
trying to make it as an actor,
98
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,695
and I pushed hard to get there.
99
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,784
And it was the end
of a long campaign
100
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:49,122
when I auditioned for the lead
of a huge American TV series.
101
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,209
[Vashti] At one point
in that journey,
102
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,628
Andy had gone out for
Spartacus and he was in LA.
103
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,090
Whatever happens to me,
my men, their families,
104
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,384
happen because we choose it.
105
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,346
We decide our destiny.
106
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,265
Not the Romans.
107
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,143
And I remember that
day I wore a little note
108
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,813
in both cups of my bra,
'cause I had boobs then,
109
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,232
saying, "Andy is Spartacus.
110
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,150
Andy is Spartacus."
111
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,777
I kept sending him emails
saying,
112
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,779
"How fantastic.
You've got Spartacus."
113
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:21,822
Before he even got it.
114
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,158
We made it happen,
and that's how we roll.
115
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,202
[woman] Why are you here?
What's happening?
116
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,119
What's going on?
117
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,412
Well, this is, this is real.
118
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,039
That's real sweat.
119
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,417
This is Gladiator Boot Camp.
120
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:40,632
I started yesterday and
my buttocks are killing me.
121
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,306
I turn up one day going, "
This is actually
bit terrifying now
122
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,642
because this is what
I've wanted for so long
123
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,352
and it's here
and I have to deliver."
124
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,687
[director] Action.
125
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,147
[Vashti] Andy literally
arrived back from LA
126
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,525
and went straight off
to start shooting
127
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,694
in New Zealand and
suddenly becoming Spartacus
128
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:05,240
and cutting a six pack and
glutes and pecks of steel.
129
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:06,366
[director] Action.
130
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,244
[Andy] I mean, I was exhausted,
131
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,496
but I'm pretty sure
anyone would've been.
132
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,499
It's one of the most extreme
things I've ever gone through.
133
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,379
[upbeat music playing]
134
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,634
I keep pace with
the mighty Spartacus.
135
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,345
[Andy] I think Spartacus
is a unique show.
136
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,972
I mean, you're walking
around in your underwear.
137
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,100
You have to train
your arse off
just to look the part,
138
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,477
let alone doing your
own fight choreography
139
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,646
and the long film days.
140
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:39,858
Spartacus!
141
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,075
That is not my name.
142
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:56,041
[Andy]
And of course, the action is
a big component of this show.
143
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,501
But it's just there to
highlight the drama.
144
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,382
The story is about an everyman
who finds himself
145
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,927
captured by the supposedly
civilized Romans,
146
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:11,056
and is forced to fight
for his own survival.
147
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:12,933
Begin.
148
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,143
[crowd cheering]
149
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,561
[Spartacus screaming]
150
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,317
[groaning]
151
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,195
[Andy] And I think
as the show continues,
152
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,782
his passion to help
liberate all the people
153
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,993
trapped by circumstances
of which they had no control
154
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,497
becomes something that he can
really put his energy into.
155
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,250
How much longer?
156
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,380
How much blood
until we're free?
157
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:44,589
Soon.
158
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,592
I promise you.
159
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,389
He just can't sit back
and take the abuse.
160
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,266
He will make a stand for
everyone and everything.
161
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,980
However many times
they knock him down,
162
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,985
while there is still blood
pumping through his veins,
163
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:07,696
he will get up and fight
and fight
164
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,823
and never, never, ever stop.
165
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,791
And there's certainly
parts of me
166
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,626
that I can identify with that.
167
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:26,798
So it's really my dream role
to be the title character
168
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,634
and to collaborate with
all these amazing people.
169
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:31,845
How white your teeth are.
170
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,015
Amazing.
171
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,599
-Got the gladiator smile.
-[Andy] It's 73 B.C.
172
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,101
It's the gladiator smile.
173
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:42,981
[Andy] And to have a show so
well-received and successful,
174
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,483
I sort of had everything
at my feet.
175
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,822
[crowd cheering and applauding]
176
00:08:56,244 --> 00:09:00,165
I am Spartacus.
177
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,594
Season one of Spartacus
finished,
178
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,931
and I was in a lot of, a lot
of pain at the end of that,
179
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,142
and wasn't sure what it was
and it wasn't going away.
180
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:23,396
I got a call saying,
"Hon, I'm in trouble."
181
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,606
And I said, "What do you mean?
182
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,483
You've just gone to
see a sport's doctor."
183
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,152
And he said,
"I think I've got cancer."
184
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,238
And I threw myself in
a taxi and raced across
185
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:37,494
Sydney to look at a huge X-ray,
a basic one, nonetheless,
186
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:41,331
of my husband's body with
black patches everywhere.
187
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:45,293
I ended up being diagnosed
with Non-hodgkin's Lymphoma,
188
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,213
and it was pretty extreme.
189
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,964
It was stage four at the time,
190
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,677
and so everything went on hold
with a view to coming back.
191
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,265
My oncologist was saying,
192
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,601
"You know,
if you want to get cancer,
193
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,062
this is the one you want.
It's 80% treatable.
194
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,231
You're young and healthy.
195
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,732
You'll just breeze
through the treatment."
196
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,820
And so, I never, ever,
ever was scared of it.
197
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,824
[Vashti]
The whole treatment,
Andy had to go through
198
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,450
the chemotherapy,
but he did it
199
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,370
extraordinarily gracefully,
humbly,
200
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,082
and he gave everything to
how he could heal himself.
201
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,960
I really fell in love with
him even more through that.
202
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,801
I went into remission,
which was great.
203
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,220
Everything got back on track
204
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,973
and I galloped
to the next season, season two.
205
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:44,686
[audience applauding
and cheering]
206
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,481
[woman] Come on, Andy!
207
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,237
The champion of Capua,
208
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,447
the bringer of rain,
Andy Whitfield.
209
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,745
You know, I'd like to have
this opportunity as well
210
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,331
just to thank some of the
messages I got from the fans.
211
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,293
It was, it was kind of, you
know, profound
212
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:12,380
and moving to get such a
connection from complete
strangers.
213
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,339
So, thank you.
214
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,757
You gave me a great lift
when I needed it.
215
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:15,717
Thanks.
216
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,177
Since then, I had to
have an insurance scan
217
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,054
for season two to go
back to shoot, you know,
218
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,349
just to make sure I was still
okay, still in remission.
219
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:30,106
And they found a resilient
little subset of cells
220
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,735
and they said, "You
know, if you do nothing,
221
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,528
you'll be dead within
three to six months."
222
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,743
It just doesn't add up to me.
223
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,120
You know, when I asked the
oncologist
224
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,290
what causes the disease
I have...
225
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,042
No idea.
226
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,252
No idea.
227
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:52,962
I mean,
how do you fix something
228
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,172
if you don't know the cause?
229
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:57,592
You can patch it up, but does
it take away the conditions
230
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,094
that created it and maintained
it in the first place?
231
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,598
And so I've just become
fascinated
232
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,475
with that question
right now, and...
233
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,980
I think there's a whole
world out there to...
234
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,151
to look at, to try and
answer that question.
235
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,198
What I want for us now
is to be really clear
236
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,700
about what we want from
this journey and that is...
237
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:28,039
to just learn from each other,
238
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,125
grow from it, and not be
frightened by it.
239
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,882
In my heart,
I am convinced that...
240
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,927
this is all meant to be.
241
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,596
I'm supposed to be right
here, right now, and...
242
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:51,020
I'm open to the journey
and to the discoveries
243
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,482
and to the adventure
of all of this.
244
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,821
Be here now
is all about being present
245
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,073
and not fearing
what you don't know.
246
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:07,537
And so I feel really passionate
and inspired to do this
247
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,456
even though I have no idea
how it's going to turn out.
248
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,754
[soothing music]
249
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,272
It's the weekend,
and it's the day after
250
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:37,025
we've just found out
that Andy's got...
251
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:42,572
the lymphoma's come back.
252
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:47,368
And I've had all sorts of
fucking
253
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,871
scary information about
what that means.
254
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:57,462
I think I'm just so numb
from too much information
255
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,340
that I just don't know
how I feel right now.
256
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,440
[Vashti] Let's go in with the
context of just hearing
257
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,110
about a second opinion
and make sure
258
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,987
that the treatment will
actually have some effect
259
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,864
on overpowering
the cancer.
260
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,414
To me, it's very simple.
261
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:37,835
The best chance
of long term survival,
262
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,005
long term remission,
living happily ever after,
263
00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:44,801
is to have some
reinduction therapy
264
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,303
and then get your stem cells
collected,
265
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,846
and then have a stem cell
transplant.
266
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:53,142
And can you explain to
me what the principle is?
267
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,729
Phase A: two cycles of
reinduction chemotherapy.
268
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,856
-Each take about four weeks.
-[Andy] Yeah.
269
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,026
During one or both of those,
we'll collect stem cells.
270
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,363
Then, we'll do phase B,
which is
271
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,865
the big dose of chemotherapy,
the biggest hammer
272
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,659
to knock the disease out.
273
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,496
Then, we'll look at
your own bone marrow.
274
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,331
But as soon as we've
done the chemotherapy,
275
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:19,043
we rescue your bone marrow
with the stem cell transplant.
276
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,461
Okay.
277
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,880
You have to be convinced that
this is the right treatment
278
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,132
and then get on and do it.
279
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,049
Sure.
280
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,968
But it doesn't mean
do it tomorrow.
281
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,719
We have a little bit of time.
282
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,721
Right, okay.
283
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:32,598
[shaky voice]
I'm going to cry.
284
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,225
I just feel so relieved,
285
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,979
just speaking to someone
who's speaking about it
286
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,231
without this like, "You don't
do this.
287
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,316
You're going to die and
you can't see your kids."
288
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,945
It just feels really good
to hear it said
289
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:49,615
with such grace and I
know nothing's a certain,
290
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,869
but it just feels
strangely more supportive.
291
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:54,787
Sort of.
292
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,835
Sorry, I'm fine.
293
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,211
[Andy] Do you have this effect
on everyone?
294
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,088
[John] Yeah, I always make
women cry.
295
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,339
[all laughing]
296
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:10,511
[slow guitar music]
297
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,853
My oncologist said, "Let's
do some rounds of chemo,
298
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:22,190
get it in remission, do
the stem cell transplant,
299
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,568
and hopefully live happily
ever after."
300
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:33,075
I've just been liberated
and so free all day,
301
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:38,831
and I guess now the night's
coming, and I'm tired.
302
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,124
I've been up since
four this morning.
303
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,630
And I'm starting
to panic, again.
304
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,466
And...
305
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:51,844
Yeah.
306
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,982
When I was first
diagnosed, I got treatment.
307
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,443
I had chemotherapy
and at the time,
308
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,779
my oncologist was saying,
"80% of people
309
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,614
who go through this
go into remission."
310
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,324
-You gonna race with us?
-[Indigo] Yeah.
311
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:14,325
Okay.
312
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,077
[Jesse] On your marks,
get set...
313
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,161
[both] Go!
314
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,414
Go, Indi! Get him.
315
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,376
But in my case,
it wasn't successful,
316
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,794
and what they're saying now
is that
317
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,296
there is a second level
of treatment.
318
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,593
But only 25% of the people
that go through
319
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:36,097
the best that the world
has to offer make it.
320
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:41,310
It's suddenly a different
level of things at stake.
321
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,649
Where I'm at right now
is trying to understand
322
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,944
the current approach and
is it the best way to go.
323
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,697
They did a biopsy
and they found
324
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,950
-a subset of resilient cells.
-[therapist] Yup.
325
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,910
And so they're kind of saying,
326
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,537
"You have to go onto
the next level of treatment."
327
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,538
[therapist] Which is?
328
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,248
[Andy] Much more intense chemo.
329
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,207
Okay.
330
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,501
[Andy] It's my responsibility
to pursue
331
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,421
whatever I need to do
to get my health back
332
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:13,551
whether it's through
chemotherapy
or alternative treatment.
333
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,471
And then there's the
whole psychological side
334
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:18,848
of all that has to do with it.
335
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:23,811
I'd like you to think back
to a time when something...
336
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,274
really got your attention.
337
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:33,404
[Andy] I think having
a positive outlook
338
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,156
in your own treatment
has gotta help,
339
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:40,161
even if it's a 1% improvement
in your prognosis.
340
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,663
Tell me what you're noticing
341
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,749
right now about the sensation.
342
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,834
It's like a stadium.
343
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,754
Okay, what do you notice
about the energy
of the stadium?
344
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,631
Everyone is cheering.
345
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,759
And have you noticed
who they're cheering for?
346
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,763
Yeah.
347
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,850
And just allow that to
completely fill your body,
348
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,938
bathing in that feeling
of being supported.
349
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,779
Daddy's here!
350
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:20,951
Dad, do you want me to do
one of your rolls in Spartacus?
351
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:21,952
[Andy] Yeah.
352
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,792
[Vashti] We're in a real
crossroads about what to do.
353
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:28,709
Daddy.
354
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,960
Can I have a kiss?
355
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,504
Can I have a kiss?
356
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,634
Andy is literally on hoof
running from...
357
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:40,763
one inquiry to another,
from Ayurvedic medicine
358
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:43,140
to acupuncture, all of
which if it were me,
359
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,558
I would be doing too.
360
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,729
And, I am in no way pushing
him to do chemotherapy.
361
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,232
But you just want to do
what you think
362
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,192
will fix the situation.
363
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:58,572
And I've caught myself doing
that with such surprise
recently,
364
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:01,784
like wanting Andy
to just get well,
365
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,078
just do the quick thing
so we can get on.
366
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:11,001
[Andy] I've read plenty of
anecdotal stuff about people
367
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:14,255
doing this whole Ayurvedic
treatment to manifest health.
368
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,758
You know, I'm obviously being
advised to do chemotherapy.
369
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,971
They've said, "We'll book
you for the 3rd of November."
370
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,390
And I think three weeks,
I could go to India.
371
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,977
I could, you know, I could go
and see what that does first.
372
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,730
I can't see how that could be
a process
373
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,107
that wouldn't assist
and even allow your body
374
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,026
to get strong so that
should you have to go down
375
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:38,821
that chemotherapy path,
you're going to be in an
376
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,741
even better position to be
able to manage that process.
377
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,788
I feel like I'm on a path
and if I choose one way,
378
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,957
I'll be fine. I will.
379
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,626
If I go chemotherapy, I'll get
through. I'll be in the 25%.
380
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:53,878
-Yeah.
-I don't doubt that.
381
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:55,129
But.
382
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,883
But there's this whole other
383
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:03,137
path here that
I really believe in.
384
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,138
Yeah.
385
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,348
I believe in this more
than I do this right now.
386
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,685
And maybe that's what's
the problem for me.
387
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:12,062
Can I just say
I do support that.
388
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:15,566
-I second you doing that 100%.
-Well, I do need.
389
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,861
I just need some support
on it from the people
around me
390
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,279
because I just feel like I'm...
391
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,991
I'm doing it on my own
and people think I'm mad.
392
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,659
[Vashti] Who thinks you're mad?
393
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:26,660
You do.
394
00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,746
[Vashti] I don't think, I've
never said I think I'm mad.
395
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,915
-No, but.
-So here's the thing.
396
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:35,669
Sometimes what you're getting
is this unprocessed me,
397
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,880
you know, like I might,
like last night
398
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,257
I dreamt about this,
I dreamt about it.
399
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:41,801
Because it's my girlfriend's
anniversary
400
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:44,303
of dying three years ago
from cancer. [shaky voice]
401
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,598
Last night, I dreamt that
you, we just didn't have time,
402
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:49,600
and we'd left it too late.
403
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,268
And you went in for chemo
and they said,
404
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:54,104
"I'm sorry, we can't do it
because it's everywhere.
405
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:55,773
It's too late."
406
00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:57,733
And I just remember thinking,
407
00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,819
"If we'd just been open
to everything
408
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:03,531
and tried everything,
Jesse would have a dad."
409
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:07,493
And that was my dream
and it's terrifying.
410
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,912
-So I wake up.
-You go off and meditate.
411
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,288
I go down, make lunches,
412
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,123
have the gorgeous little
people screaming at me,
413
00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,459
yelling at me, and what's
still going on in my head.
414
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:16,669
[Indigo shouting]
415
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:21,173
Is that we didn't have time,
and then you're saying,
416
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:23,926
"You're not supporting me" and
I'm trying to process that,
417
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,053
get that silly thought out of
my head
418
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,680
because I don't believe it
anyway,
419
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,891
but it's in my whole
body, to then support you
420
00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:33,727
going off and doing some
more exploratory work,
421
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:37,481
you know, when I know that...
422
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,485
all day I'm going
to be feeling strange.
423
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:52,955
[crying] As a mother
with two children,
424
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,583
there's a protective
streak in you that goes,
425
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,086
"What if he did die?"
426
00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:02,339
And that's an awful thing
and something I can't
427
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:06,552
explain to Andy, but it's
in me as the possible...
428
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:10,931
parent who would be supporting
these two little people.
429
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,768
And I think it would break
Andy's heart to hear that
430
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:18,647
I'm even considering that as
an option, but I can't help it.
431
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,360
Does that make any sense
to you?
432
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,112
[Andy] It does.
433
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:26,864
[Vashti] What's going on
for you?
434
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,326
Well, I knew all that was
going on.
435
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,786
I know all that's going on,
hon. I'm your husband.
436
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:36,540
I know you more than anyone.
437
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:42,463
And I guess how I'm
getting through it is to,
438
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:47,801
it's a trust thing.
439
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:50,721
I'm just trusting, and...
440
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:54,600
you know, in that space,
then anything is possible.
441
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,649
And I just, it's hard
and unreasonable
442
00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:06,487
to ask anyone else to
trust as much as I do.
443
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,783
I feel like there's
a lack of trust
444
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,619
or something in me
and I'm not clear
445
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:16,080
on what that is,
but it has me conflicted
446
00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:18,999
in how to support him
even though in my heart
447
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:22,169
I know I support him fully
in whatever he chooses to do.
448
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:28,384
I do trust that whatever
you do is the right thing
449
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,761
and you just have to know I
support it whatever it is.
450
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:34,264
As long as it doesn't harm
anybody else, I support it,
451
00:24:34,348 --> 00:24:35,891
and you just need to know that.
452
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:36,809
[Andy] Alright.
453
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,644
[screaming] Hey.
454
00:24:57,079 --> 00:25:00,916
In something that's so
powerless and horrific
as cancer,
455
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,501
you didn't choose to have it
456
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,294
and there's no
getting out of it.
457
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:06,422
There's no, like, "I just
don't want to do this anymore."
458
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:14,471
And at the same time,
there's no one going,
459
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:15,848
"Let's just do this.
460
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,141
It's gonna kill cancer.
461
00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,642
It's gonna be okay."
462
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,688
By the end of the day,
you've gotta make a call.
463
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:27,609
And it's a big call to put
your faith in one camp.
464
00:25:29,987 --> 00:25:31,071
What if they're wrong?
465
00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:36,744
I think the way you navigate
through
466
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:38,912
is to use your intuition.
467
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,042
And then you have to dig deep
468
00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:46,754
and trust that the future is
bright.
469
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,190
So, I just had a profound...
470
00:26:09,443 --> 00:26:10,986
insight, feeling...
471
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:15,783
and I'm going to India.
472
00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,244
Okay, so here we are.
473
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,537
Where are we?
474
00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:25,584
Now, I'm gonna go all the
way on a plane to Delhi.
475
00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:29,213
[Vashti] And maybe show
Jesse where Grandpa Bob
476
00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:31,632
is coming from because Grandpa
Bob is going to visit Daddy.
477
00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:33,467
My dad, your granddad, is
coming from
478
00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:36,512
a little island in Wales,
there, straight to Delhi.
479
00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:38,430
[Jesse] Where does it say
Delhi?
480
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:39,598
Right here.
481
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,141
So, that's where
I'm going today.
482
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:45,646
-Are you going to be okay?
-[Vashti] Love you.
483
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:46,814
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Andy] Love you too.
484
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,482
-I'm going to be fine.
-See you in three weeks.
485
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:49,441
[Vashti] You will.
486
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:09,628
Welcome to India. [laughs]
487
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:15,634
It's like a different planet.
488
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:18,595
It's magical, beautiful,
colorful chaos.
489
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:24,226
[slow guitar music]
490
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:45,956
I'm here.
491
00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:48,542
I start treatment tomorrow.
It feels amazing.
492
00:27:51,545 --> 00:27:52,713
There's nothing to fear.
493
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,936
I've had a bit of a battering
this year.
494
00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:10,939
I've had six rounds of chemo,
495
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:14,484
and it's such a poisonous
treatment
496
00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:16,445
that kills your good cells
as well as,
497
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,738
hopefully, the bad ones.
498
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:23,577
So it's time to do something
cleansing.
499
00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:29,791
This is all kind of
5,000 year old,
500
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:33,420
no side effects, slightly
magical medicine.
501
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:37,633
I'm losing some.
502
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:45,515
It's a perfectly natural way
of purifying the body,
503
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:49,311
to help rebalance your system.
504
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:57,361
And for me, that's a more of
inspiring form of treatment.
505
00:29:07,454 --> 00:29:08,997
I'm very lucky to be here.
506
00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:15,128
My dad's coming soon.
507
00:29:17,547 --> 00:29:19,007
I'm really
looking forward to it.
508
00:29:24,513 --> 00:29:25,806
Welcome to India.
509
00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:26,974
How are you?
510
00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:30,519
What a journey.
511
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,854
-How are you?
-I'm fine, you?
512
00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:34,606
-Good to see you.
-Looking good.
513
00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:36,900
I feel good, I feel good.
514
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:43,156
[upbeat drum music]
515
00:29:57,838 --> 00:30:00,674
[Rob] When I first heard
the path Andrew was taking,
516
00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:05,887
I was a little concerned
because I have a conditioned
prejudice
517
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:10,267
that western approach is maybe
the only way that is available.
518
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,104
But this is
what he wanted to do.
519
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,399
I think that's the one. Yes.
520
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:20,652
[Rob] And I hope that
he will come away feeling
521
00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:25,282
quite relaxed and ready for
the next step in the journey.
522
00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,849
Today I'm going to see
the Indian astrologer
523
00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:54,102
and he's going to, he's
going to look at my life.
524
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,606
I just have to tell them
where I was born
525
00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,274
and at what time and what date,
526
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,944
and then they can calculate
my journey.
527
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:07,574
-This is your horoscope.
-Okay.
528
00:31:07,824 --> 00:31:11,203
Your ascendant is Capricorn.
529
00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:16,083
According to medical astrology,
you were born in Capricorn.
530
00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,000
[Andy] Okay.
531
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:20,003
[Pandit] And your moon sign
is Virgo.
532
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:23,632
-Gemini sign.
-[Andy] Gemini?
533
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:25,634
Yes, Gemini, Virgo.
534
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,344
-[Andy] My wife is Gemini.
-Then good.
535
00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:28,887
She is very good for you.
536
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:31,348
Gemini, Virgo, Taurus.
537
00:31:31,431 --> 00:31:33,392
-My son is Taurus.
-Very good.
538
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:37,979
Your path is exalted in the
ascendant.
539
00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:43,276
It means you are a very
courageous and bold person
540
00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:49,408
and now I will tell about
the sixth house,
541
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:50,951
about your health.
542
00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:56,665
The lord of sixth house,
Mercury,
543
00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:00,293
in tenth house
with Sun and Venus.
544
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:05,382
The sun, the planet is
weak in your horoscope.
545
00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:10,011
It shows little difficult time
for health.
546
00:32:12,222 --> 00:32:14,850
This is, it looks a little bit
serious.
547
00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:17,018
Wow.
548
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:22,899
That may create short life.
549
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:32,159
[Andy sighs]
550
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:36,872
In my opinion,
I think you will overcome.
551
00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:43,879
Good.
552
00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:47,424
There is more support from
the planet, and if you pass
553
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:51,678
these two years, then you
will have lot of good things.
554
00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:57,726
-Okay.
-[Pandit] Any question?
555
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:02,606
I have a question around,
because in Australia,
556
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,525
they do chemotherapy.
557
00:33:05,609 --> 00:33:07,444
Yes, you have to do little bit
558
00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:09,821
this kind of treatment,
chemotherapy.
559
00:33:14,117 --> 00:33:15,160
Thank you.
560
00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:18,288
I think, yes, in my opinion,
this shows
561
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:20,790
some difficult time for
you, but you will overcome
562
00:33:20,874 --> 00:33:22,709
because there
is nature support.
563
00:33:23,251 --> 00:33:25,462
-Ah, I'll take that.
-That shows you long life.
564
00:33:25,545 --> 00:33:26,963
-I'll take that.
-Somehow.
565
00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:31,092
He thinks I'll be okay.
Oh, god.
566
00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:33,470
But...
567
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,576
He says maybe...
568
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:03,625
two or three years of...
you know, a struggle.
569
00:34:07,796 --> 00:34:08,838
[sighs]
570
00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:13,176
Wow.
571
00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:28,441
I already knew that the
next year was going to be
572
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:31,236
kind of tough with treatment
and recovery.
573
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:33,613
And I guess the whole point of
the chart
574
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,323
in astrology is to...
575
00:34:36,992 --> 00:34:39,494
to avoid the danger
that's not yet come.
576
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:40,704
That's what they keep saying.
577
00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:42,789
"To avoid the danger
that has not yet come."
578
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:55,218
People have always been
talking to me about
579
00:34:55,302 --> 00:34:56,886
don't paddle upstream,
580
00:34:58,263 --> 00:34:59,806
you know? Go with the flow.
581
00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:01,516
And I was like,
"I totally get that."
582
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,227
But it wasn't until I was
actually in the Ganges
583
00:35:04,853 --> 00:35:06,062
that I sort of went...
584
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:10,108
"Of course.
It's going that way, anyway.
585
00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:11,276
Go with it."
586
00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:17,324
And if there's a rock,
paddle around it.
587
00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:21,244
As it comes up,
you can see the danger
588
00:35:21,328 --> 00:35:23,121
and you can navigate around it.
589
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:26,082
And so it was a really nice
thing to go,
590
00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:28,209
"I'm just going to go
with the flow."
591
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:33,632
You can't be questioning why.
592
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:37,177
Just accept the things you
can't change
593
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:39,929
and do something about
the things you can.
594
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:46,353
[soft piano music]
595
00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:53,693
[chanting in background]
596
00:35:53,777 --> 00:35:56,029
[Rob] The whole experience
from my point of view
597
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:57,364
was quite surprising.
598
00:35:57,656 --> 00:36:00,909
I feel, personally,
so much better
599
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,994
than when I came
that I have to believe
600
00:36:03,078 --> 00:36:05,622
that it's done the same
for him.
601
00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:12,587
[Andy] I didn't want to do
chemotherapy for a long time.
602
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:13,797
See you soon.
603
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:16,675
But my destiny has assured
whatever I do.
604
00:36:16,758 --> 00:36:19,135
I'll do the chemotherapy
to kill the cancer
605
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,762
and I will use
everything I've learned
606
00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:23,473
along the way
to rebalance me
607
00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:25,934
and to help me
for the rest of my life.
608
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,437
It'll be interesting to see
how it goes
609
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:31,022
when I get home, back in...
610
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:39,030
back in the mentalness
of the west.
611
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:57,799
It's Friday, day one of chemo.
612
00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:01,678
I'm going to be here
for four days now.
613
00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:04,222
Well, five including
yesterday, last night.
614
00:37:05,682 --> 00:37:09,644
And I've just realized
there's been no joy
615
00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:13,064
until my gorgeous wife
arrives and we have a giggle.
616
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:18,486
[Vashti] You can press up,
and down, and up and down.
617
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:20,530
-How are your abs?
-Burning.
618
00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:22,323
[Vashti] You could have
a six pack
619
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,242
by the end of your chemo.
[laughs]
620
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:26,828
-Anyway.
-Where are we going?
621
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,747
Just up here behind that
traffic light.
622
00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:37,130
Look at how many
holes I've got.
623
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:39,758
I know, I just, looking
at your punctured,
624
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:41,426
kind of pin cushioned arms.
625
00:37:42,135 --> 00:37:43,678
Ugh, I've got fucking holes
everywhere.
626
00:37:45,305 --> 00:37:47,807
Will you promise that you won't
wake me up every three hours
627
00:37:47,891 --> 00:37:50,101
and take my temperature
and blood pressure tonight?
628
00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:51,269
No.
629
00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:54,147
I will be expecting you to do
your husbandly duties, though.
630
00:37:54,230 --> 00:37:55,106
What's that?
631
00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:56,691
[laughs]
632
00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,986
It's those actions that you
have to do
633
00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:02,155
so that your wife doesn't
get herself a lover.
634
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,240
Probably you just get a lover.
635
00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:05,825
[Vashti laughs]
636
00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:08,620
I'll be on my nausea pills.
637
00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:15,502
I am Spartacus.
638
00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,629
[Vashti] Alright, darling.
Welcome home.
639
00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:19,506
[Andy] Home.
640
00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:25,553
Now you've got to be
gentle to daddy bear.
641
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,306
Poor daddy.
642
00:38:31,518 --> 00:38:34,229
Listen, very gentle,
but big kisses for Daddy
643
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:35,688
because he's going to bed now.
644
00:38:37,273 --> 00:38:38,107
[Andy] Give me a cuddle.
645
00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:39,651
[Jesse] Can I see your arm?
646
00:38:39,734 --> 00:38:40,860
It's all gone, though.
647
00:38:44,364 --> 00:38:45,615
[Vashti] Come on, then.
648
00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:46,908
Let's go and get into bed.
649
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,117
[Indigo] Good night.
650
00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:51,037
-Night, guys. Love you.
-Daddy will be sleeping now.
651
00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:03,424
It's good to have him home.
652
00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:07,387
But I do feel a tiny
sense of anxiety
653
00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:10,723
about the fact
that I am going to be
654
00:39:10,807 --> 00:39:14,227
looking after him and I don't
know how he's going to be.
655
00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:47,218
[exhales heavily]
656
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:55,643
I have no idea where
the last week has gone.
657
00:40:00,189 --> 00:40:02,817
I had some reaction to...
658
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:04,944
one of the drugs.
659
00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:09,699
I literally lost my mind.
660
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:16,080
I spent three or four days
just...
661
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:19,334
talking myself off a roof.
662
00:40:23,546 --> 00:40:26,007
And I descended
into the darkest,
663
00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:31,095
most bleak depression,
664
00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:36,684
and I could not see
an end to it.
665
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:52,283
He couldn't really share
a conversation properly,
666
00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:53,785
didn't know what he wanted
and he was actually,
667
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:56,746
I don't know if he realized,
but really quite aggressive.
668
00:40:56,829 --> 00:40:57,830
And, uh.
669
00:40:57,914 --> 00:40:59,248
[Andy] I really don't remember
anything.
670
00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:02,126
Angry and said quite a
few strange things to me.
671
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:07,090
When we spoke to the doctor,
he said it's a totally
672
00:41:07,507 --> 00:41:10,134
unknown, unheard of reaction
673
00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:13,846
and that there's no way
they could foresee it
674
00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:17,767
and so we're not going
to do it again.
675
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:22,021
So we're going to go back
to the old mixture of chemo.
676
00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:27,944
You've got a brilliant knack
of phoning at the worst time.
677
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:29,320
At the moment, I have to say.
678
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:34,409
I tried to call you last
night several times.
679
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:35,994
So...
680
00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:41,666
So it's been a weird couple
days and it feels like
681
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:45,503
we're sort of seeing the light,
and yeah.
682
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:49,549
So yeah, and I'm in
a sort of slightly
683
00:41:49,632 --> 00:41:52,010
peculiar resistant place,
at the moment, to it all.
684
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:54,595
Well, I'm not. I'm not.
685
00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:56,723
And at the moment, I feel
like a fucking crap wife
686
00:41:56,806 --> 00:41:59,684
and a horrible mum
and a selfish person
687
00:41:59,767 --> 00:42:01,769
with horrible thoughts
going on in my head.
688
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:03,604
Yeah.
689
00:42:04,647 --> 00:42:05,940
[crying]
690
00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,192
No, I don't want that.
691
00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:10,319
I don't, I never say,
"Why is this happening?"
692
00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:12,363
I just want more fucking time.
693
00:42:12,447 --> 00:42:15,742
I need some time
to take it all in.
694
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,746
It's just been really full on.
695
00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:21,372
I'm very torn.
696
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:23,666
So torn.
697
00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:26,794
It's very easy to go, "Fuck!
698
00:42:26,878 --> 00:42:30,548
I've got cancer,
I've got cancer!
699
00:42:30,631 --> 00:42:31,591
I could die."
700
00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:35,011
And why me and feeling angry
701
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:38,848
and seeing people
everywhere going,
702
00:42:38,931 --> 00:42:41,184
"Why are they worried
about a pimple
703
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:44,228
they've got on their face
or a poor guy's
704
00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:47,356
broken his leg and he won't
be a triathlete anymore,
705
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:52,278
and I've got cancer."
706
00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,657
Anyway, I'm fine, Mum.
707
00:42:56,741 --> 00:42:57,742
Don't freak out.
708
00:42:57,825 --> 00:43:00,661
I just knew I'd fall
apart when I spoke to you.
709
00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:04,415
I love you too. [sobbing]
710
00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:14,258
My mum's coming from Wales.
711
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:21,766
It'll be good to have her
here, have her around,
712
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:23,601
and she's tough.
713
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:25,103
She's tough, my mum.
714
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:29,357
And it will take some pressure
off Vashti
715
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:33,569
because I'm conscious that
Vashti's trying to manage
716
00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:35,530
the children and me.
717
00:43:37,198 --> 00:43:38,866
Sometimes you just
need your mum.
718
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:45,289
[slow piano music]
719
00:44:22,034 --> 00:44:24,579
[Vashti] I feel so torn
in so many different ways
720
00:44:27,957 --> 00:44:30,459
because I'm trying to
look after my children,
721
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:32,211
give them the love
they need,
722
00:44:34,964 --> 00:44:36,757
and at the same time,
723
00:44:36,966 --> 00:44:39,635
I'm trying to support
Andy when he's feeling
724
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,306
confused or completely lost.
725
00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:52,106
This has been a big smack
in the chops for both of us.
726
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:56,736
We're just both in
transition of being ready
727
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:59,196
for what this journey is
about, which is a lot more
728
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,240
intense than we expected,
I think.
729
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:09,206
But I'm really hoping
that will change
730
00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:11,208
when Andy's mum comes
to the rescue.
731
00:45:15,338 --> 00:45:17,423
Hey, guys. Grandma is here.
732
00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:18,341
Grandma.
733
00:45:23,179 --> 00:45:24,472
Hi, dear.
734
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,725
-Hi.
-How are you, Mum?
735
00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:29,977
-It's lovely to see you.
-You too.
736
00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:32,104
How are you?
737
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:33,689
-How are you feeling today?
-I'm good, I'm doing well.
738
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:35,441
Oh, good.
739
00:45:38,319 --> 00:45:40,029
So I understand
he feels better.
740
00:45:40,112 --> 00:45:41,697
Yeah, you're catching him like
741
00:45:41,781 --> 00:45:43,824
on the first really,
really good day.
742
00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:45,409
[Pat] I hope that
while I'm here,
743
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:51,082
I can support Vashti, do
lots with the children
744
00:45:51,165 --> 00:45:53,334
who are a delight
and make you forget.
745
00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:56,671
I think these ones bend
the other way, don't they?
746
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:57,838
They bend backwards.
747
00:45:57,922 --> 00:46:01,717
[Pat] I hope I can,
in the smallest way,
make a difference.
748
00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:03,761
You've got a genius child,
do you know?
749
00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:04,720
I know.
750
00:46:05,304 --> 00:46:08,599
Just support and love
and be there.
751
00:46:10,851 --> 00:46:13,229
What would you like done
with your hair today, love?
752
00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:15,564
Going somewhere nice
for the holidays?
753
00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:17,900
Something practical.
754
00:46:18,442 --> 00:46:20,695
Summery, cool and...
755
00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:22,196
And shorter.
756
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:23,614
Stylish, please.
757
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:28,035
I came over with slightly
mixed feelings
758
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:32,665
because it wasn't
what you want.
759
00:46:33,249 --> 00:46:35,751
But it's a good time.
760
00:46:35,835 --> 00:46:37,086
I think if you have
to look at that
761
00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:39,088
and know that you're actually
going to get a lot out of it,
762
00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:42,508
and a special time.
763
00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:53,394
[playful music]
764
00:46:56,981 --> 00:46:58,733
[Jesse] I'm gonna decorate
the tree.
765
00:46:58,816 --> 00:46:59,650
[Andy] Show me.
766
00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:01,235
Do one. There you go.
767
00:47:04,613 --> 00:47:05,823
Well done, Indi.
768
00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:09,452
Hi.
769
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,178
[Vashti] Andy was booked in
to go in for chemo
770
00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:31,223
and he got there
and they decided
771
00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:32,683
that what they were going to do
772
00:47:32,767 --> 00:47:36,937
is run a scan to make sure
there were no surprises.
773
00:47:38,230 --> 00:47:40,900
The result was that
there was nothing new
774
00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:46,614
and that the original
lymphoma had at least halved,
775
00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:49,617
which is a fantastic sign
because it means
776
00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,744
he's responding
to the treatment.
777
00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:54,080
Nearly, nearly, nearly.
778
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:55,998
Run with the ball.
779
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:04,215
I can't wait to go in
and get round two done
780
00:48:06,258 --> 00:48:09,970
because it's working
and as strange as it is,
781
00:48:10,638 --> 00:48:14,892
to be in a ward 24/7,
hooked up to a machine,
782
00:48:15,643 --> 00:48:19,814
and I just went to get in,
get this cancer killed off.
783
00:48:20,773 --> 00:48:21,941
[Vashti] Hi, boys.
784
00:48:23,192 --> 00:48:25,111
What are you doing here today,
Jesse?
785
00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:27,363
I got a new,
something to do today.
786
00:48:27,446 --> 00:48:28,781
[Vashti] Is that your new
cuddly toy?
787
00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:30,658
-Him?
-[Jesse] What have you got?
788
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:39,875
I came out of the second lot
of chemo.
789
00:48:41,168 --> 00:48:42,294
And it's not too bad.
790
00:48:42,378 --> 00:48:44,922
Like I feel, I feel fine.
791
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:48,259
And I, I look really well.
792
00:48:49,927 --> 00:48:51,595
Now, they'll collect
stem cells.
793
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:56,517
Here it comes.
794
00:48:57,017 --> 00:48:58,394
And sometime after Christmas,
795
00:48:58,477 --> 00:49:02,940
I'll go in and, hopefully,
I'm in remission.
796
00:49:03,566 --> 00:49:06,861
Assuming I am, I'll then do
the stem cell transplant.
797
00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:09,405
And then the stem cell
transplant wipes out
798
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:11,198
any underlying disease.
799
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:13,450
This is gonna be the end of it.
800
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:26,172
Now, I want to look at
all your gorgeous faces.
801
00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:29,884
[all] Cheers!
802
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:30,885
Happy New Year.
803
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,678
To another year of adventure.
804
00:49:33,888 --> 00:49:35,472
Come on, give me a kiss.
805
00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:39,101
And slightly less drama,
but drama of a different kind.
806
00:49:39,185 --> 00:49:41,604
-Yes.
-Maybe a thriller film drama.
807
00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:42,521
Maybe.
808
00:49:44,857 --> 00:49:46,192
[Vashti] Look at that.
809
00:49:47,109 --> 00:49:49,278
[Andy] In some aspects, this
was the best year of my life.
810
00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:54,867
And for all the downsides
of treatment,
811
00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:58,204
there was all the joy of being
at home,
812
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:01,957
and being with my kids
and my wife.
813
00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:05,878
With the turning
of the new year,
814
00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:09,548
I just get excited
about getting through
815
00:50:09,632 --> 00:50:13,510
treatment and surviving cancer.
816
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:24,396
[crowd chattering]
817
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:27,316
[man] So are you
excited for the premiere?
818
00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:30,194
Yeah, I am.
I guess this is the first.
819
00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:31,654
I mean, we've all seen it
and we love it,
820
00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:33,530
so it's kind of nice
that we get a chance
821
00:50:33,614 --> 00:50:36,158
to finally share it
after all the hard work.
822
00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:41,830
This time last year,
I was the lead
823
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:44,917
of a big successful
American TV series.
824
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,381
After much effort
and sacrifice,
825
00:50:52,007 --> 00:50:54,218
I finally got to
where I wanted to be.
826
00:50:57,137 --> 00:51:00,891
I don't remember like a
career counselor going,
827
00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:03,852
"So what do, you know,
what is it you wanna do?"
828
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,147
I don't remember any of that.
I just remember someone saying,
829
00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:08,691
"You need to go to university.
830
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:11,026
"Pick something."
831
00:51:12,278 --> 00:51:15,239
And the guy across the
road was an engineer.
832
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:18,701
So I did engineering and
I did that for 15 years.
833
00:51:21,370 --> 00:51:25,708
And then one day, some
girl grabbed me in a cafe
834
00:51:26,041 --> 00:51:28,085
and she said,
"Who's your agent?"
835
00:51:28,377 --> 00:51:30,254
I was like,
"I don't have an agent."
836
00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:31,964
And she said,
"I'm a photographer.
837
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:33,924
I want...
can I take your picture?"
838
00:51:35,175 --> 00:51:38,429
And that ended up in a magazine
and then I was a model.
839
00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:45,269
[Vashti] He kind of
stepped into modeling,
840
00:51:45,352 --> 00:51:47,354
was hugely successful
very quickly.
841
00:51:48,647 --> 00:51:50,774
And he was at one point
the highest used model
842
00:51:50,858 --> 00:51:52,776
for Australian TV commercials.
843
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:01,243
And then little parts in
TV started showing up.
844
00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:08,625
Excuse me, I'm looking for
Pam Horman.
845
00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:10,419
These are her boys.
They're here to see their dad.
846
00:52:10,794 --> 00:52:13,255
There wasn't enough work
to give up my engineering.
847
00:52:13,339 --> 00:52:14,798
So I balanced it
for a couple of years.
848
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,008
[woman] Mr. Lee?
849
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,219
I've got investors
arriving in half an hour
850
00:52:19,303 --> 00:52:21,430
and they're supposed to have
publicity material,
851
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:24,350
which your secretarial services
was supposed to
have printed out.
852
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:25,476
I see.
853
00:52:25,559 --> 00:52:27,269
Then I'd take a month off
and go to LA
854
00:52:27,353 --> 00:52:30,230
and try and get something big.
855
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:31,523
Jane Porter.
856
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:32,900
I am Tarzan.
857
00:52:34,193 --> 00:52:37,446
Do you think I'd go for
a skinny bitch like you?
858
00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:39,323
[director] And we're rolling.
859
00:52:39,448 --> 00:52:40,532
[woman] Reacts to camera?
860
00:52:41,617 --> 00:52:45,621
[Andy]
And then Vashti fell pregnant
and I sort of realized,
861
00:52:45,704 --> 00:52:47,748
"Oh, my god, I've got to
provide for everybody now."
862
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,833
You know, like my wife's
not going to be working,
863
00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:53,587
and I just thought
I'm just gonna
864
00:52:53,670 --> 00:52:55,464
put acting on the back burner.
865
00:52:55,547 --> 00:52:58,050
And then literally the
next day, my agent rang
866
00:52:58,133 --> 00:52:59,468
and said they've got
an audition.
867
00:52:59,718 --> 00:53:02,012
[woman] I have no
desire to fight you, Gabriel.
868
00:53:02,221 --> 00:53:03,639
Shoot me if you must,
but I beg you,
869
00:53:03,722 --> 00:53:05,349
hear what I have to say first.
870
00:53:05,808 --> 00:53:07,017
You lie.
871
00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:09,061
I never trust your kind.
872
00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:12,189
[Andy] They rang the next day
and said,
873
00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:14,149
"They've offered you
the lead role in this movie.
874
00:53:14,566 --> 00:53:16,026
But it's not paid."
875
00:53:17,778 --> 00:53:20,239
And I was like, "Great."
876
00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,950
"There's no way I can do it."
877
00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:29,665
And then Vashti said, "What
would you rather tell your son?
878
00:53:29,748 --> 00:53:32,835
That you didn't do this thing
you've been trying to do
879
00:53:32,918 --> 00:53:35,295
for years because of money
880
00:53:36,422 --> 00:53:37,923
or that you just did it
anyway?"
881
00:53:38,841 --> 00:53:39,675
And...
882
00:53:41,468 --> 00:53:42,469
So I just did it.
883
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:43,846
[Amitiel] Gabe?
884
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:45,806
It's my fault.
885
00:53:47,975 --> 00:53:48,892
Gabe?
886
00:53:49,435 --> 00:53:51,895
You gotta talk to me.
Listen, you gotta talk to me.
887
00:53:51,979 --> 00:53:53,147
Gabe! Listen.
888
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:54,106
No!
889
00:53:54,815 --> 00:53:56,817
-Look at you!
-You don't understand!
890
00:53:57,192 --> 00:54:00,028
[Andy] From that, I got an
American agent and manager
891
00:54:00,112 --> 00:54:04,867
and flew to America
and a year later
I had Spartacus.
892
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:13,500
Nine months filming
and a six-year deal.
893
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,088
You know, I had offers,
film offers.
894
00:54:19,047 --> 00:54:20,591
Didn't have to
audition anymore
895
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,178
I was planning
the next career move.
896
00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:27,222
All that effort
of trying to make it.
897
00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:28,432
I was set.
898
00:54:37,232 --> 00:54:40,360
And I've been kind of mourning
the loss of that victory,
899
00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:43,489
if you'd like,
because this lymphoma
900
00:54:44,364 --> 00:54:45,908
is still not in remission.
901
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:52,789
My mind's going crazy.
902
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,959
I just don't know what my fate
is for the next little while.
903
00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:00,672
[sighs]
904
00:55:02,424 --> 00:55:03,425
I feel sick.
905
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:12,392
I got you some DVDs
to choose from.
906
00:55:12,476 --> 00:55:17,147
Got Mad Men 3,
Sunshine Cleaning,
907
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:18,982
which is a really cute
funny film.
908
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,946
Had a PET scan yesterday
and that was to
909
00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:28,659
show that everything was in
remission and I could go on
910
00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:32,579
and do the next stage, which
was the bone marrow transplant.
911
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:36,333
We got a call this morning
from the specialist's secretary
912
00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:37,960
saying, "You better come in.
913
00:55:38,794 --> 00:55:40,837
He wants to talk
about your results."
914
00:55:41,547 --> 00:55:42,673
Is that enough?
915
00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:45,384
-What, for a week?
-Yeah.
916
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:46,301
Yeah.
917
00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:49,763
[Andy] In a nutshell, all the
original lymphoma was gone,
918
00:55:50,138 --> 00:55:53,016
except this new area, which
was never there before.
919
00:55:55,727 --> 00:55:59,773
I just don't know
what's ahead now.
920
00:56:00,983 --> 00:56:02,568
You know, is it
one round of chemo?
921
00:56:02,651 --> 00:56:05,821
Is it another round?
Is it, what is it?
922
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:09,533
It's unusual for lymphoma
to respond
923
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:12,327
in one part
and grow in another.
924
00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:15,163
We've got to find a cunning
way of treating this.
925
00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:27,509
[Andy]
It wasn't until I got to
the ward that Professor Gibson
926
00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:31,513
said, "We need to knock this
on the head.
927
00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:36,602
This drug that we're
going to give you now
928
00:56:38,270 --> 00:56:42,232
specifically targets
really fast growing stuff.
929
00:56:43,317 --> 00:56:44,651
You're going to be here
for ten days.
930
00:56:45,277 --> 00:56:47,237
This is the big guns now.
931
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:51,908
If you're not having response
to this kind of chemo,
932
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,952
then nothing else is
really going to work."
933
00:56:56,371 --> 00:56:58,248
It was the first time
anyone mentioned that.
934
00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:02,127
Before, it was an easy case
for him
935
00:57:02,461 --> 00:57:06,048
and now it feels like it's
getting more of his attention.
936
00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:20,437
I'm having a high dose
chemo now.
937
00:57:21,313 --> 00:57:22,230
I'm really feeling it.
938
00:57:23,023 --> 00:57:24,691
I've already got some ulcers.
939
00:57:27,903 --> 00:57:30,781
I mean, whose mouth is that?
940
00:57:32,366 --> 00:57:33,909
I just don't recognize it.
941
00:57:35,118 --> 00:57:39,081
Gums are all receding
and kind of raw,
942
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:45,295
and I guess my stomach,
as well, is trashed
943
00:57:45,379 --> 00:57:47,506
and I've got this rash.
944
00:57:47,756 --> 00:57:50,634
I can see it all over my body,
945
00:57:51,969 --> 00:57:54,554
which is kind of chemo heat.
946
00:57:56,264 --> 00:57:59,685
And, I just feel sorry
for my body, for my cells.
947
00:58:00,143 --> 00:58:01,937
They're taking
such a battering.
948
00:58:05,732 --> 00:58:08,568
So hopefully this big hit
will get it under control
949
00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:11,405
and we'll get back on
track for the transplant.
950
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:19,413
Ah, I can smell some children.
951
00:58:19,788 --> 00:58:20,998
Oh!
952
00:58:22,624 --> 00:58:23,458
[Indigo] Daddy!
953
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:24,668
Hello!
954
00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:27,963
[Vashti] Aw, is it your daddy?
955
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:29,506
Hello, beautiful children.
956
00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:31,550
-That's you.
-That's me?
957
00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:34,052
[Vashti] Aw, it looks just
like you.
958
00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:35,971
I've got one hair left
on my chin.
959
00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:37,723
That is prefect, Indi.
960
00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:39,224
-Thank you.
-[Vashti] Well done.
961
00:58:39,307 --> 00:58:41,685
-That's beautiful.
-[Vashti] Hello, Jesse Red.
962
00:58:41,768 --> 00:58:43,020
Hello, can I have a cuddle?
963
00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:45,397
Daddy, daddy, daddy.
964
00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:47,649
Oh, I've missed you guys.
965
00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:50,652
What've you been up to?
966
00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:52,612
You been looking after everyone
for me?
967
00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:55,157
[Indigo] I missed you, daddy.
968
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,658
I missed you, too.
969
00:58:58,368 --> 00:59:01,413
I really should be
in remission by now,
970
00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:06,376
but treatment's dragged
on for nearly a year.
971
00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:11,381
And that's sometimes
a bit of a heavy burden,
972
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:14,009
for everyone.
973
00:59:14,968 --> 00:59:16,428
That's you fat.
974
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:17,846
That's me fat?
975
00:59:18,722 --> 00:59:22,517
And I have no body, just a
fat head with arms and legs?
976
00:59:23,185 --> 00:59:24,227
It does look like me.
977
00:59:24,311 --> 00:59:26,229
You've got a body.
978
00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:27,981
Yeah, I have.
979
00:59:28,482 --> 00:59:31,401
I don't know what effect
it's having on the children.
980
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,072
But you know, I'm sort of
realizing more and more
981
00:59:35,155 --> 00:59:37,657
that they're incredibly
perceptive kids anyway.
982
00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:41,536
And we sort of, I've been
broaching the subject of,
983
00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:44,289
I never actually
mentioned the word cancer.
984
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:47,834
I've said, "I have a
problem with my blood."
985
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:51,088
Or "My blood needs
replacing" or "needs fixing."
986
00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:54,341
You know, it's a sort
of semi-serious context,
987
00:59:54,424 --> 00:59:56,551
but, "hey don't worry,
I'm gonna be fine."
988
00:59:57,469 --> 00:59:59,387
Hey, Jesse Red,
what's happening?
989
01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:01,473
How was your week?
990
01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:04,142
Good.
Thank you very much.
991
01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:05,519
How was yours?
992
01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:07,646
Very good, thanks.
993
01:00:08,188 --> 01:00:09,689
Thank you for asking.
994
01:00:10,857 --> 01:00:13,735
I think with kids, as long
as what they're seeing
995
01:00:13,819 --> 01:00:15,612
matches
what they're being told,
996
01:00:15,946 --> 01:00:18,615
it's kind of easy to
understand and go along with.
997
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:19,825
Okay, I'm just going to shave.
998
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:21,451
[Jesse] Okay.
999
01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:25,831
[Indigo] What are you
doing with your hair?
1000
01:00:25,914 --> 01:00:27,290
He's just taking his hair
1001
01:00:27,374 --> 01:00:28,917
because the medicine's
making it come out.
1002
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,877
Look at that.
Nice big clump.
1003
01:00:31,795 --> 01:00:32,963
[Indigo] It's coming off?
1004
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:34,381
Yeah, I'm having a hair cut.
1005
01:00:34,714 --> 01:00:36,591
Do you want me to
cut your hair off, too?
1006
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:37,509
[Indigo] No.
1007
01:00:37,592 --> 01:00:39,261
No, I'm only joking.
1008
01:00:39,344 --> 01:00:41,805
I asked Indi if I could
have her hair for a bit.
1009
01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:42,931
[Vashti] No.
1010
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:46,935
[Andy] We're all in it
together and getting
1011
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,562
through it as a family.
1012
01:00:49,020 --> 01:00:50,438
Go into bed.
Lie down.
1013
01:00:50,856 --> 01:00:52,482
And you can hear the story.
1014
01:00:53,024 --> 01:00:56,653
[Andy] And of course,
my mum's been
so brilliant and supportive.
1015
01:00:57,195 --> 01:00:58,947
She's been here
for four months.
1016
01:00:59,573 --> 01:01:01,700
And, of course,
the treatment's
1017
01:01:01,783 --> 01:01:03,201
gone much longer
than we'd hope.
1018
01:01:03,285 --> 01:01:05,495
So her trip's been extended.
1019
01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:07,372
So my dad's coming out
tomorrow.
1020
01:01:07,455 --> 01:01:10,125
Alright, I think it's time
to tuck you both in bed.
1021
01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:11,668
I'm really looking
forward to seeing him.
1022
01:01:11,751 --> 01:01:14,171
I'm really excited
about having him around.
1023
01:01:19,092 --> 01:01:20,218
I need that please.
1024
01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:21,511
Do you think
you might need some more?
1025
01:01:21,595 --> 01:01:22,888
I need that please.
1026
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:26,016
Grandpa, grandpa!
1027
01:01:26,433 --> 01:01:29,644
[Andy] It's another great gift
of this whole journey.
1028
01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,354
Good to see you.
1029
01:01:32,272 --> 01:01:33,356
How are you?
1030
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:35,108
-I'm fine, I'm good.
-[Vashti] Hello.
1031
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:36,526
Let me be useful.
1032
01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:37,736
She's the man of the house
these days.
1033
01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:39,154
I'm the man of the house
at the moment.
1034
01:01:49,289 --> 01:01:50,749
[indistinct chattering]
1035
01:02:00,759 --> 01:02:01,885
Read me your email.
1036
01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:03,678
-[Vashti] Are you sure?
-Yeah.
1037
01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:05,055
"Hello, lovely folk.
1038
01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:06,348
It's another spectacular,
hot, clear day
1039
01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:08,391
in Sydney, the kind
of day you English folk
1040
01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,435
are dreaming of,
but in all honesty,
1041
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,811
we're longing for the autumn.
1042
01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:13,897
Andy's doing really well
and in the midst
1043
01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:15,815
of an additional couple rounds
of chemo.
1044
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:18,401
He's sitting, strumming
on his beautiful guitar
1045
01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:20,946
with a big smile on his
face, which is partly to do
1046
01:02:21,029 --> 01:02:22,530
with the fact that
this morning he woke up
1047
01:02:22,614 --> 01:02:25,450
with a massive boner, the
first one for a wee while.
1048
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:27,410
So, in truth, we're both
smiling.
1049
01:02:27,494 --> 01:02:28,787
That's all for now.
1050
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,163
Sending you lots of love.
1051
01:02:30,247 --> 01:02:32,832
Keep the updates coming
and your lives rolling in
1052
01:02:32,916 --> 01:02:35,627
as it's nice to be connected
with people off this island."
1053
01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:37,796
Well, thank you for sharing
my morning boner with...
1054
01:02:38,964 --> 01:02:41,258
-Hundreds of friends.
-Millions.
1055
01:02:43,551 --> 01:02:44,886
Okay, that's sent.
1056
01:02:45,679 --> 01:02:49,599
But I haven't sent out
updates for so long now
1057
01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:54,145
just because, I didn't have
anything to say,
in all honesty.
1058
01:02:54,521 --> 01:02:56,523
I was just trying to process
everything.
1059
01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:58,525
[Andy] What's different?
1060
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:01,695
I just, I just think,
for me, it was like...
1061
01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:07,867
I just feel so much
calmer and more grounded.
1062
01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:10,912
I just, I think readjusting
my perspective
1063
01:03:10,996 --> 01:03:15,542
and re-framing that life
right now is about this.
1064
01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:18,044
Yeah, you seem a lot better.
1065
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:23,258
You seem so, more, more
grounded I guess.
1066
01:03:23,591 --> 01:03:25,051
This is just what it is.
1067
01:03:25,260 --> 01:03:29,431
Right here, right now is
today and enjoying today.
1068
01:03:41,234 --> 01:03:43,111
[Vashti] I've just felt like
I'm trying to
1069
01:03:43,194 --> 01:03:44,821
speed track this treatment
so that we can
1070
01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:46,448
just get on with our lives.
1071
01:03:48,616 --> 01:03:51,828
But the most conflicting
thing is to fight against it.
1072
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:58,209
And, ultimately, I just
have to be there for Andy,
1073
01:04:01,379 --> 01:04:04,591
which is why we chose to
walk the earth together.
1074
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:16,811
When I first met Andy,
I was at university
1075
01:04:17,187 --> 01:04:19,314
and it was one of those
summers backpacking
1076
01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:22,025
and lots of different
friends from different unis
1077
01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:23,318
kind of all got together.
1078
01:04:23,401 --> 01:04:25,362
I was with a long-term
girlfriend and she said,
1079
01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:27,447
"Do you want to come on holiday
with a bunch of people?"
1080
01:04:27,906 --> 01:04:29,366
And Vashti was one of them.
1081
01:04:32,243 --> 01:04:34,537
And then, four years
later, I was walking down
1082
01:04:34,621 --> 01:04:39,250
an alleyway in East London
and this girl walks by
1083
01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:40,835
and she shouted my name.
1084
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:43,213
[Vashti] I couldn't
quite remember his name,
1085
01:04:43,296 --> 01:04:44,923
and I went, "Um, Andy?"
1086
01:04:45,090 --> 01:04:47,300
And he looked around
and I went, "Vashti."
1087
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:49,552
And we both were marveled
at the difference
1088
01:04:49,636 --> 01:04:50,470
in the way we looked.
1089
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:52,555
He was this
really handsome man.
1090
01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:59,104
He was fairly humble
and very gentle,
1091
01:04:59,771 --> 01:05:00,855
which is some of the things
1092
01:05:00,939 --> 01:05:02,982
I loved about him
on first meeting him.
1093
01:05:04,359 --> 01:05:07,278
[Andy] My first impression
of Vashti was powerful.
1094
01:05:07,654 --> 01:05:10,407
She was just this fearless,
atomic bomb.
1095
01:05:13,576 --> 01:05:15,161
And I guess
I was the other side.
1096
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:19,374
I was quite, quite
quiet person growing up.
1097
01:05:21,459 --> 01:05:23,044
I was born in the '70s.
1098
01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:25,463
In the North of England.
1099
01:05:25,547 --> 01:05:28,049
It wasn't a world of
possibility and excess.
1100
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:30,969
They'd had a grim old time.
1101
01:05:31,386 --> 01:05:34,139
And I just grew up on our
nation's values like that.
1102
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:37,684
Life is tough and you can't
have your cake and eat it.
1103
01:05:41,438 --> 01:05:42,897
[Vashti] What stood
out is, you know, I'd see
1104
01:05:42,981 --> 01:05:45,024
these pictures of a
really happy little boy
1105
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,403
and they was clearly quite
a close little family.
1106
01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:55,869
It just looks completely
different
1107
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:58,496
to my upbringing
with hippy parents.
1108
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:03,793
I was also born
in Wales also,
coincidentally.
1109
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:07,380
But they decided
that they would drive
1110
01:06:07,464 --> 01:06:11,092
across land from England to
India with my sister and I.
1111
01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:13,386
So we traveled around
everywhere.
1112
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:15,597
We were in Afghanistan,
Iran, Pakistan
1113
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,475
for quite a few years
of our junior lives.
1114
01:06:20,059 --> 01:06:22,770
So there's a fierce
independence that I was given
1115
01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:24,856
by their lust for adventure.
1116
01:06:30,028 --> 01:06:35,158
When I met Andy, I'd met
someone to walk beside
1117
01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:36,993
and that feeling
was overwhelming.
1118
01:06:40,538 --> 01:06:44,417
His humbleness and my kind
of "rah" brought a balance
1119
01:06:44,501 --> 01:06:47,420
to two people that benefited
from something else.
1120
01:06:50,298 --> 01:06:53,927
And I think as we've
grown, there's been times
1121
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:55,637
where we were reversed,
where I've been the one
1122
01:06:55,720 --> 01:07:00,183
that's been charging
hard and she's been able
1123
01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:04,646
to sort of sit still and find
new parts of herself in that.
1124
01:07:07,815 --> 01:07:10,985
[Vashti] Andy taught me
to not have to be strong,
1125
01:07:11,528 --> 01:07:16,074
and I've become this softer,
more vulnerable person.
1126
01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:23,831
And so together, kind of like
a lioness and a butterfly,
1127
01:07:24,332 --> 01:07:25,667
teaching one to be strong
1128
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:29,087
and one to be soft,
became this love affair.
1129
01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:57,991
To the right.
1130
01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:02,370
And in.
1131
01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:05,415
And forward.
1132
01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:08,876
And folding forward.
1133
01:08:10,461 --> 01:08:15,258
Rolling on up
and through the center.
1134
01:08:17,218 --> 01:08:19,304
Through the nose, Ujjayi.
1135
01:08:29,314 --> 01:08:31,107
Let's do something else, Andy.
1136
01:08:48,374 --> 01:08:51,628
[kids chattering]
1137
01:09:01,095 --> 01:09:01,929
Hi.
1138
01:09:03,848 --> 01:09:05,308
What are you doing?
1139
01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:06,601
[Vashti] Oh, sorry.
1140
01:09:06,684 --> 01:09:09,687
[Andy] I think I heard
some Whitfield children.
1141
01:09:09,771 --> 01:09:10,605
Daddy.
1142
01:09:10,688 --> 01:09:12,482
Daddy's under a pink blanket.
1143
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:14,734
What is that on your eyes?
1144
01:09:15,109 --> 01:09:16,319
[Vashti] Just give him five
minutes
1145
01:09:16,402 --> 01:09:18,529
and let daddy just come to.
1146
01:09:18,821 --> 01:09:20,782
What are you doing, daddy?
1147
01:09:21,491 --> 01:09:23,618
I'm doing a really
relaxing thing.
1148
01:09:26,412 --> 01:09:27,580
Can I have a kiss?
1149
01:09:44,722 --> 01:09:49,435
I'm up on my own
in the middle of
the night in discomfort
1150
01:09:51,229 --> 01:09:53,981
and there's been a lot of this.
1151
01:09:56,401 --> 01:09:57,527
Um...
1152
01:09:58,611 --> 01:10:02,615
Kind of reminds me of
before I got diagnosed
1153
01:10:02,699 --> 01:10:06,703
lat year and just the constant
1154
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,330
sleepless nights. And the pain.
1155
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:12,959
This aching pain that just
won't go away
1156
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:16,504
adds to the usual
pre-scan anxiety.
1157
01:10:36,691 --> 01:10:37,775
What did you have to
catch up on?
1158
01:10:37,859 --> 01:10:41,362
I had to catch up on the...
my homework.
1159
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:43,448
You know the first page
I didn't do?
1160
01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:44,365
Yeah.
1161
01:10:48,703 --> 01:10:50,663
[Vashti] This is such
a roller coaster
of a week.
1162
01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:52,373
What do you mean?
Oh, you got one?
1163
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:54,542
Great, actually got it.
1164
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:57,545
That one was Anakin in it.
1165
01:10:58,087 --> 01:10:59,714
[Vashti] And all we
can do is go with it.
1166
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:01,340
And Obi Wan Kenobi.
1167
01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:03,593
It's brand new.
1168
01:11:04,218 --> 01:11:06,220
[Vashti] And I'm constantly
fighting to not
1169
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:08,890
get caught
in the terror of it all.
1170
01:11:11,142 --> 01:11:12,310
But I haven't got any answers
1171
01:11:12,393 --> 01:11:14,103
and I really haven't got any
space to process them.
1172
01:11:14,187 --> 01:11:16,856
Because I'm trying to process
what's coming next with Andy.
1173
01:11:23,905 --> 01:11:25,323
-Babe?
-[Andy] Terrible.
1174
01:11:26,365 --> 01:11:27,575
I feel terrible.
1175
01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:30,787
I feel so much pain.
I don't know what to do.
1176
01:11:31,412 --> 01:11:32,663
But, I've got Jesse.
1177
01:11:32,747 --> 01:11:33,956
Are you okay with Jesse?
1178
01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:35,833
[Andy] I just want to go home.
1179
01:11:37,126 --> 01:11:38,878
Alright, I'll be very quick.
1180
01:11:52,642 --> 01:11:55,394
Andy was really sleep
deprived and exhausted
1181
01:11:55,978 --> 01:11:59,398
and our oncologist basically
just stormed in there
1182
01:11:59,482 --> 01:12:00,775
like a bull in a China shop
with a bunch
1183
01:12:00,858 --> 01:12:02,693
of other registrars around him
1184
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:05,404
and read Andy the Riot Act
on his chances
1185
01:12:05,488 --> 01:12:07,365
being slim and it could be
a choice
1186
01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:09,492
if he wanted to
just not go ahead.
1187
01:12:10,368 --> 01:12:12,245
[Andy] I said, "What's our
alternative?"
1188
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,372
He says, "Well, you'll die
of lymphoma."
1189
01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:17,834
And I'm like, "What?
1190
01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:19,418
Then we'll keep going."
1191
01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:27,134
I will support
whatever you choose.
1192
01:12:27,218 --> 01:12:29,512
If you choose that chemo
is the way.
1193
01:12:29,595 --> 01:12:32,765
Well, you know, I've had
11 rounds of chemo, you know.
1194
01:12:32,849 --> 01:12:34,934
I've had 11 rounds
of fucking chemo
1195
01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:38,604
over the last year.
1196
01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:41,524
And perhaps that's too much?
1197
01:12:46,153 --> 01:12:48,072
And deja vu, here we are,
1198
01:12:48,155 --> 01:12:50,908
waiting for the phone to ring
to see what my fate...
1199
01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:55,997
is according to, you know,
my oncologist.
1200
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,918
So it's kind of
make or break today.
1201
01:13:08,384 --> 01:13:10,344
[phone ringing]
1202
01:13:12,430 --> 01:13:13,639
Here we go.
1203
01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:14,557
John.
1204
01:13:16,434 --> 01:13:17,810
-[John] Hello?
-Hi, we're here.
1205
01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:19,604
Sorry, I'm just putting
you on loud speaker.
1206
01:13:19,979 --> 01:13:20,980
[John] Okay.
1207
01:13:22,481 --> 01:13:26,068
Alright, um, nothing good,
I'm afraid.
1208
01:13:26,569 --> 01:13:27,403
Okay.
1209
01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:32,867
[John] The PET scan
compared to the previous scan
1210
01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:35,995
showed that the mass
in the abdomen
1211
01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:39,749
was larger and more active.
1212
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:45,087
This is clearly not the result
that any of us wanted.
1213
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:49,300
This represents the
nasty aggressive nature
1214
01:13:49,383 --> 01:13:50,843
of your recurrent lymphoma
1215
01:13:50,927 --> 01:13:55,640
that is resistant to all of
the standard lymphoma drugs.
1216
01:13:56,265 --> 01:14:00,102
And so maybe it's worthwhile
considering radiotherapy.
1217
01:14:02,229 --> 01:14:03,064
Okay.
1218
01:14:05,024 --> 01:14:05,858
[sighs] Wow.
1219
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,906
[John] We're really
in a very tight corner
1220
01:14:11,989 --> 01:14:13,824
with not too many other, um...
1221
01:14:15,868 --> 01:14:17,536
options...
1222
01:14:21,666 --> 01:14:22,583
Okay?
1223
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:24,168
-Okay.
-[Vashti] Thank you.
1224
01:14:25,711 --> 01:14:27,171
So how do you feel, hon?
1225
01:14:27,838 --> 01:14:29,799
You know, the good thing is
it's totally
1226
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:31,634
unrelated to chemotherapy, so,
1227
01:14:33,219 --> 01:14:35,846
it's not like
if chemotherapy works,
1228
01:14:35,930 --> 01:14:37,556
radiation doesn't work,
you know?
1229
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:40,351
Well, you know.
There's a couple of tracks.
1230
01:14:40,685 --> 01:14:42,144
You can go to a second opinion.
1231
01:14:42,728 --> 01:14:44,522
You can go and find another
oncologist
1232
01:14:44,605 --> 01:14:46,857
who might want to try
a different mix.
1233
01:14:47,650 --> 01:14:50,069
There's got to be other
alternative ways
1234
01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:52,238
of reducing your lymphoma.
1235
01:14:52,571 --> 01:14:54,156
Sure, let's find out.
1236
01:14:57,159 --> 01:14:57,994
I love you.
1237
01:14:58,077 --> 01:15:00,746
I love you, too,
and you look calm.
1238
01:15:02,039 --> 01:15:04,458
Yeah.
I guess for the last few days,
1239
01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:09,130
I've been facing
my own mortality.
1240
01:15:10,673 --> 01:15:13,175
For the first time,
I've actually,
1241
01:15:14,135 --> 01:15:15,261
gone, "You know what?
1242
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:18,305
I wonder what it'd be like
just to go, 'I might die?'"
1243
01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:21,434
Whereas before, it's
been like, "I don't care.
1244
01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:23,894
Whatever you say,
I'm gonna make it."
1245
01:15:25,146 --> 01:15:26,772
And it's been really liberating
1246
01:15:26,856 --> 01:15:29,692
to sort of sit,
actually sit in it and go,
1247
01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:32,069
"You know what?
1248
01:15:32,153 --> 01:15:33,237
I might only have
three months left.
1249
01:15:34,363 --> 01:15:36,032
I might, that might be my
journey."
1250
01:15:36,991 --> 01:15:41,370
And I'm not actually
afraid of that.
1251
01:15:42,121 --> 01:15:43,831
And I guess that's why
I mentioned before
1252
01:15:43,914 --> 01:15:45,499
about there's a sort of,
1253
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:47,918
it feels almost selfish
to think like that
1254
01:15:48,002 --> 01:15:52,173
because there are other
people at stake, you know?
1255
01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,050
There's my children
who need a father.
1256
01:15:55,092 --> 01:15:57,219
And my wife
who needs a husband,
1257
01:15:59,513 --> 01:16:01,766
although I don't do that much
right now.
1258
01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:05,644
You do a good job.
1259
01:16:06,854 --> 01:16:08,689
And, I just don't know.
1260
01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:11,150
I just think I've kind of
made some peace
1261
01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:12,735
over the last few days
with that,
1262
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:17,573
which is sort of weird because
1263
01:16:17,656 --> 01:16:20,326
I don't know if that's a
good thing or a bad thing,
1264
01:16:20,785 --> 01:16:21,911
but I certainly feel--
1265
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:23,370
But don't you think you
should think about it?
1266
01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:24,455
I think
you should just feel it.
1267
01:16:24,705 --> 01:16:26,624
I want you to do
what's in your heart
1268
01:16:26,707 --> 01:16:29,001
and not what your head tells
you to do.
1269
01:16:30,377 --> 01:16:31,837
Because I think
you're really clear on that
1270
01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:33,589
and perhaps you've
not listened to that
1271
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:37,009
because you've been
so frightened and sick.
1272
01:16:39,553 --> 01:16:43,182
And I just know
that whatever happens [weakly]
1273
01:16:43,390 --> 01:16:45,643
because I don't see you not
being there.
1274
01:16:45,976 --> 01:16:49,021
The kids will honor
and respect the choices
you made
1275
01:16:51,148 --> 01:16:54,193
to be here and to
take them on that journey.
1276
01:16:59,323 --> 01:17:00,324
I guess...
1277
01:17:03,410 --> 01:17:06,705
you'd do anything to be there
for your kids, you know?
1278
01:17:06,789 --> 01:17:07,957
And that's what
I still want to do.
1279
01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:24,807
Right now I just feel
overwhelmed.
1280
01:17:29,603 --> 01:17:33,858
And I'm not sure
how it's all gonna work.
1281
01:17:33,941 --> 01:17:34,900
I know it will.
1282
01:17:35,734 --> 01:17:38,863
But I just feel ripped off
again, today.
1283
01:17:42,992 --> 01:17:43,951
I can't believe it.
1284
01:17:44,034 --> 01:17:44,952
I just don't get why...
1285
01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:49,081
why it isn't working.
1286
01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:55,045
[exhales]
1287
01:17:55,129 --> 01:17:55,963
Holy shit.
1288
01:17:57,756 --> 01:17:58,841
This is huge.
1289
01:18:00,968 --> 01:18:02,052
This is huge.
1290
01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,057
And terrifying.
1291
01:18:12,354 --> 01:18:13,397
I've gotta go.
1292
01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:28,871
How are you?
1293
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:30,331
Good, how are you feeling?
1294
01:18:31,957 --> 01:18:35,502
I feel a bit wiped out
the last two or three days,
1295
01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:39,632
really lethargic and then...
1296
01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:43,677
I don't have my usual
1297
01:18:44,428 --> 01:18:48,432
self-motivating "oomph".
1298
01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:56,148
Here I am, nine months later.
1299
01:18:56,774 --> 01:18:58,525
Pretty fucked, pretty depleted.
1300
01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:02,071
I'm now in the minority group
1301
01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:04,073
where I'm not responding
to chemo.
1302
01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:06,659
And it's truly frightening.
1303
01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:13,791
I'm just trying to find some
serenity, and some calm in it.
1304
01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:20,381
I know that, you know,
with fear and anger,
1305
01:19:21,173 --> 01:19:23,133
which is probably the same
thing, really,
1306
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:25,886
they're all outward.
1307
01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:27,680
It's all depleting, you know.
1308
01:19:27,763 --> 01:19:31,433
When you invest in it, it's
all, it's kind of not helpful.
1309
01:19:33,060 --> 01:19:34,103
And the opposite of that is
1310
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:38,274
love, compassion,
and forgiveness.
1311
01:19:41,151 --> 01:19:44,029
And if you can convert
into that,
1312
01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:46,198
that's an inward thing.
1313
01:19:46,282 --> 01:19:49,243
That's a...
that's a healing thing.
1314
01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:53,831
And I guess it's part of my
evolution to get through this.
1315
01:19:56,583 --> 01:19:57,918
[Acupuncturist] Feel
some warmth there, Andy?
1316
01:19:58,002 --> 01:19:59,169
Yeah, it feels great.
1317
01:20:00,045 --> 01:20:02,589
[Andy] Because I think that
brings together the whole
1318
01:20:02,673 --> 01:20:06,844
psychological, emotional,
spiritual side of a person.
1319
01:20:10,264 --> 01:20:12,057
You know you shouldn't wait
to get cancer
1320
01:20:12,141 --> 01:20:14,601
before you start
to think that way.
1321
01:20:24,903 --> 01:20:26,071
Hi, how are you?
1322
01:20:26,155 --> 01:20:29,366
Professor Gibson spoke
to me on Tuesday afternoon.
1323
01:20:29,450 --> 01:20:30,284
Yeah.
1324
01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:32,578
He talked to me about your
scan result
1325
01:20:32,661 --> 01:20:35,497
and asked me to see you think
about some radiotherapy.
1326
01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:37,541
-Have you seen
the scan results?
-Yeah.
1327
01:20:37,624 --> 01:20:41,295
So this is your head,
your arm, and your spine.
1328
01:20:41,378 --> 01:20:42,921
-This is your bladder.
-[Andy] Yeah.
1329
01:20:43,088 --> 01:20:44,256
[Vashti] So that's not
the lymphoma?
1330
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:46,550
No, the black part is uptick.
1331
01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:51,013
So it's normal for your brain,
bladder.
1332
01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:52,473
So this is the lumbar lymphoma.
1333
01:20:52,556 --> 01:20:53,474
[Andy] Right.
1334
01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:55,517
[Vashti] Right, so
the smaller black mass
1335
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:56,769
in the middle is the lymphoma.
1336
01:20:57,102 --> 01:20:58,312
-[Andy] Yeah.
-[Vashti] Yeah.
1337
01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:01,315
How are you feeling in general?
1338
01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:06,737
I'm feeling a little better
from not doing chemotherapy.
1339
01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:11,116
But there's pain, almost like
sciatica, but not shooting.
1340
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:12,951
And your legs
are feeling strong?
1341
01:21:13,035 --> 01:21:14,036
You don't feel weak?
1342
01:21:14,119 --> 01:21:17,748
When I walk, when I walk
for a while,
1343
01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:19,833
I get the sensation
that I need to
1344
01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,710
just stop walking
and crouch down.
1345
01:21:21,794 --> 01:21:23,003
[Angela] Because of?
1346
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:27,591
Because I feel a slight,
a building tension in there.
1347
01:21:28,467 --> 01:21:30,386
-In your back?
-Mmm.
1348
01:21:31,637 --> 01:21:33,305
So giving you
radiotherapy alone
1349
01:21:33,389 --> 01:21:35,474
for lumbar lymphoma
that hasn't
1350
01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:39,061
responded to chemotherapy
is not enough.
1351
01:21:39,144 --> 01:21:41,021
It won't be for long time cure.
1352
01:21:41,105 --> 01:21:43,857
They will assist you
with another pet scan...
1353
01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:51,573
[somber music]
1354
01:21:51,990 --> 01:21:53,242
[sighs]
1355
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:56,578
[Andy] The pain is just
getting worse and worse.
1356
01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:09,466
[Vashti] We just have to battle
through this.
1357
01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:12,052
Zap the fuck out of it.
1358
01:22:12,553 --> 01:22:15,264
Get his pain under control
and we go somewhere
1359
01:22:15,347 --> 01:22:17,015
and start treatment
somewhere else.
1360
01:22:20,727 --> 01:22:22,479
And I don't believe
it's in Andy's
1361
01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:27,276
or my destiny for him
to leave this life
1362
01:22:28,527 --> 01:22:30,612
this early through lymphoma.
1363
01:22:30,696 --> 01:22:32,489
I don't believe that, at all.
1364
01:22:32,823 --> 01:22:35,159
It doesn't feel in my
gut but that's how it is.
1365
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:44,168
Just think of Jesse and Indi.
1366
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:45,377
You've got to get through this.
1367
01:22:45,461 --> 01:22:46,462
You can do it.
1368
01:22:47,171 --> 01:22:48,255
Five minutes.
1369
01:22:50,048 --> 01:22:52,176
Count it down, yeah.
1370
01:22:58,015 --> 01:23:00,934
Try and breathe all the way
down to your little shaky toes.
1371
01:23:04,605 --> 01:23:05,647
[Andy yelps]
1372
01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:07,274
You can do this, Andy.
1373
01:23:14,490 --> 01:23:15,782
[Andy yelps]
1374
01:23:16,283 --> 01:23:18,243
Breathe into your tummy,
sweetheart.
1375
01:23:19,703 --> 01:23:21,413
[indistinct chattering]
1376
01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:26,001
You're doing a great job,
nearly there.
1377
01:23:27,544 --> 01:23:31,215
Think about little Jesse Red
in your head, see his face.
1378
01:23:33,926 --> 01:23:35,302
You can move now, gorgeous.
1379
01:23:37,012 --> 01:23:38,680
[woman] Alright,
excellent job.
1380
01:23:41,808 --> 01:23:42,768
Who was that?
1381
01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:44,102
That was Kelly.
1382
01:23:44,478 --> 01:23:46,104
She snuck a kiss in.
1383
01:23:46,188 --> 01:23:47,523
[laughs] Couldn't help myself.
1384
01:23:57,908 --> 01:24:00,327
[slow music]
1385
01:24:13,131 --> 01:24:14,466
[Andy] I've been doing
the radiation therapy
1386
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:16,677
for about a week and a half.
1387
01:24:19,263 --> 01:24:20,389
Do you see me smiling?
1388
01:24:22,516 --> 01:24:24,226
But, something's working
because...
1389
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:29,523
I've had remarkable,
remarkable pain relief.
1390
01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:32,067
You know, I'm looking more
normal now
1391
01:24:32,150 --> 01:24:35,195
and feeling better everyday
and my energy's coming back.
1392
01:24:40,576 --> 01:24:44,871
I'm back in the normal grind
of life, which is nice.
1393
01:24:45,372 --> 01:24:47,958
You know, I'm ready for work
and I've been wondering
1394
01:24:48,041 --> 01:24:49,418
when I can get back
to it.
1395
01:24:51,712 --> 01:24:53,130
We're at Fox Studios.
1396
01:24:53,880 --> 01:24:57,092
We both have an audition,
my friend Jai here,
1397
01:24:58,594 --> 01:25:01,054
for the same movie,
for different characters.
1398
01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:03,515
Did I have to learn? I was
supposed to learn the line,
wasn't it?
1399
01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:04,891
You were supposed
to learn the lines.
1400
01:25:05,017 --> 01:25:06,852
-I think I've got those.
-You haven't.
1401
01:25:07,644 --> 01:25:08,937
I'll be alright.
I'll get through it.
1402
01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:10,230
It's alright.
1403
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:12,065
[man] Rolling.
1404
01:25:12,441 --> 01:25:17,279
But we all, all must
hold fast in our belief
1405
01:25:17,362 --> 01:25:19,323
that the Lord's light
will burn eternal.
1406
01:25:24,161 --> 01:25:26,955
For the first time in a while,
I'm not putting everything
on hold
1407
01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,832
and going,
"Well, we can't be happy
1408
01:25:28,915 --> 01:25:31,168
and we can't do stuff
until this is over."
1409
01:25:32,961 --> 01:25:34,546
Because, really,
the good stuff is
1410
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:36,632
what's going on right now.
1411
01:25:36,715 --> 01:25:40,886
Now we need daddy to eat
lots while he's hungry.
1412
01:25:43,221 --> 01:25:46,016
Our highlight has been
how much time
1413
01:25:46,683 --> 01:25:48,810
my children got to spend
with their grandparents
1414
01:25:48,894 --> 01:25:50,646
and, you know, and
how close they are.
1415
01:25:50,979 --> 01:25:52,773
[Rob] You shouldn't
be wasting the water.
1416
01:25:54,524 --> 01:25:57,736
[Andy] So, amazing, amazing,
they had that time together.
1417
01:26:00,405 --> 01:26:02,074
My mum was coming initially
1418
01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:04,159
because I was getting
a stem cell transplant
1419
01:26:05,077 --> 01:26:06,745
and that's not
going to happen now.
1420
01:26:07,621 --> 01:26:11,708
So, we were like, "Go home,
get grounded.
1421
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:14,002
This thing is going to
go on for a little while.
1422
01:26:14,086 --> 01:26:16,088
So you know,
let's all have a break."
1423
01:26:16,797 --> 01:26:17,798
I'm going to miss you.
1424
01:26:17,881 --> 01:26:18,715
Oh, Mum.
1425
01:26:19,132 --> 01:26:20,258
[crying]
1426
01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:21,843
Take care.
1427
01:26:23,303 --> 01:26:24,930
-You know where I am.
-I know.
1428
01:26:25,013 --> 01:26:25,847
It's hard.
1429
01:26:25,931 --> 01:26:27,557
We'll just carry on, you know?
1430
01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:28,517
[Pat] Of course.
1431
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:29,434
Nothing's changed.
1432
01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:30,644
[Pat] No, no it hasn't.
1433
01:26:30,727 --> 01:26:31,978
It's just time for you
to have a break.
1434
01:26:32,938 --> 01:26:34,356
-Bye, gorgeous.
-Thanks, Dad.
1435
01:26:35,315 --> 01:26:36,692
[Vashti] Thanks for
everything.
1436
01:26:36,775 --> 01:26:39,528
You've made this journey so
much easier. I mean it.
1437
01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:41,905
Bye, Mum.
I love you.
1438
01:26:41,988 --> 01:26:43,240
[Pat] I love you, too.
1439
01:26:43,323 --> 01:26:44,866
Thanks for everything.
1440
01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:45,867
[Pat] I haven't done anything.
1441
01:26:46,034 --> 01:26:47,411
No, you have, Mum.
1442
01:26:48,286 --> 01:26:50,414
I think, for them, it's
very difficult to go
1443
01:26:51,331 --> 01:26:54,126
because, you know,
it's not over.
1444
01:26:54,751 --> 01:26:55,669
It's not resolved.
1445
01:26:55,752 --> 01:26:57,629
[Vashti] Say goodbye.
1446
01:26:57,963 --> 01:27:00,799
But as a family, we're much
clearer now
1447
01:27:00,882 --> 01:27:04,428
that we're going to have to
try to live with lymphoma.
1448
01:27:08,932 --> 01:27:12,269
[soothing guitar music]
1449
01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:26,408
Fuck, it's another
beautiful day.
1450
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:30,996
I didn't leave the house
for four days.
1451
01:27:31,788 --> 01:27:33,123
It was just too hard.
1452
01:27:37,753 --> 01:27:41,339
Radiation treatment finished
about four weeks ago,
1453
01:27:42,132 --> 01:27:43,800
and I was feeling amazing.
1454
01:27:44,718 --> 01:27:47,137
And then I had pain for,
like, ten days.
1455
01:27:51,016 --> 01:27:55,020
I had a scan yesterday
and so we should find out
1456
01:27:55,103 --> 01:27:58,106
in the next hour how effective
the radiation treatment was.
1457
01:28:07,491 --> 01:28:08,867
So I've lost a few kilos.
1458
01:28:11,328 --> 01:28:12,746
I'm 77 kilos now.
1459
01:28:14,456 --> 01:28:16,333
I got weighed yesterday
for my scan.
1460
01:28:19,586 --> 01:28:20,962
What do you think she's
going to say, Vashti?
1461
01:28:21,046 --> 01:28:22,923
The information is irrelevant.
1462
01:28:23,006 --> 01:28:24,966
What you have to do,
whether it's in remission
1463
01:28:25,050 --> 01:28:27,427
or not in remission
is exactly the same.
1464
01:28:28,053 --> 01:28:31,223
You have to go on
to heal and recover.
1465
01:28:32,808 --> 01:28:34,142
Come on, call.
1466
01:28:40,232 --> 01:28:41,525
[phone ringing]
1467
01:28:43,610 --> 01:28:44,945
Hi, Angela, can you hear me?
1468
01:28:45,028 --> 01:28:47,155
[Angela] Yes,
it's dropping off a bit.
1469
01:28:47,239 --> 01:28:48,073
Okay.
1470
01:28:48,156 --> 01:28:49,115
[Angela] Can you hear me?
1471
01:28:49,199 --> 01:28:50,033
-Yes.
-We can hear you.
1472
01:28:50,116 --> 01:28:51,117
[Angela] How are you, Andy?
1473
01:28:51,451 --> 01:28:52,285
I'm good.
1474
01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:54,830
My pain's much better today,
actually.
1475
01:28:54,913 --> 01:28:56,915
[Angela] Right, I heard you
were in a bit of pain
1476
01:28:56,998 --> 01:28:58,041
when you came in.
1477
01:28:58,124 --> 01:29:03,880
Yeah, just that lying
flat, I can't really do.
1478
01:29:04,589 --> 01:29:06,883
[Angela] Yes, I've got
your scan results here.
1479
01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,010
Do you want me to go
through them with you?
1480
01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:10,929
-Yeah, yeah, do.
-Yeah.
1481
01:29:11,012 --> 01:29:12,347
Our intention, today, Angela,
1482
01:29:12,430 --> 01:29:15,433
is to get clearer,
get a snapshot
1483
01:29:15,517 --> 01:29:18,144
of where you guys
think we're at
1484
01:29:18,478 --> 01:29:22,399
and either draw a line
in the sand there
1485
01:29:22,482 --> 01:29:25,151
and kind of go off and
deal with it ourselves
1486
01:29:25,235 --> 01:29:29,322
-and to hear what your
thoughts are on, you know...
-Sure.
1487
01:29:29,406 --> 01:29:32,534
...if there is any moving
forward with you guys.
1488
01:29:33,577 --> 01:29:36,872
[Angela] Well, the PET scan
is not good news at all.
1489
01:29:39,499 --> 01:29:43,253
The big lump inside his
abdomen is still there
1490
01:29:44,004 --> 01:29:46,172
where he had radiotherapy.
1491
01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:47,632
And, also,
it looks like there's
1492
01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:49,801
two new areas in the chest.
1493
01:29:52,596 --> 01:29:53,555
Okay.
1494
01:29:53,638 --> 01:29:56,349
So it's not good news.
1495
01:29:56,433 --> 01:29:58,435
It's not a good picture at all.
1496
01:29:59,644 --> 01:30:00,645
So what does that mean?
1497
01:30:00,729 --> 01:30:01,813
Is that lymphoma?
1498
01:30:01,896 --> 01:30:03,023
That's lymphoma.
1499
01:30:06,318 --> 01:30:07,152
So...
1500
01:30:07,235 --> 01:30:10,238
We are dealing with
a very difficult lymphoma.
1501
01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:15,952
I think more radiotherapy is
unlikely to change the picture.
1502
01:30:24,461 --> 01:30:25,962
[Vashti] Okay, Angela,
thank you.
1503
01:30:26,046 --> 01:30:26,963
Okay, alright.
1504
01:30:27,047 --> 01:30:28,340
[Vashti] Okay,
have a good day.
1505
01:30:28,423 --> 01:30:29,257
Bye.
1506
01:30:35,930 --> 01:30:38,350
So how do you feel, honeybun?
1507
01:30:40,810 --> 01:30:41,645
Well...
1508
01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:45,732
How do I feel?
1509
01:30:47,067 --> 01:30:48,568
Now my cancer has spread?
1510
01:30:57,035 --> 01:30:58,119
I don't know.
1511
01:31:00,747 --> 01:31:03,208
I mean, that was the
one thing I didn't want.
1512
01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:08,046
I thought, "If it's the
same, then it's the same.
1513
01:31:08,129 --> 01:31:09,964
Nothing's got worse...
1514
01:31:13,510 --> 01:31:14,886
I'm in the same position.
1515
01:31:14,969 --> 01:31:17,055
I'll just go from here."
1516
01:31:17,722 --> 01:31:20,934
But, for it to have spread
is really...
1517
01:31:24,020 --> 01:31:25,105
frightening.
1518
01:31:27,691 --> 01:31:29,901
And they're saying I've got
three to six months to live.
1519
01:31:31,778 --> 01:31:32,737
Three to six months.
1520
01:31:32,821 --> 01:31:34,364
[Vashti] But you know,
you had that six months ago
1521
01:31:34,447 --> 01:31:35,532
and you're still here.
1522
01:31:35,699 --> 01:31:38,493
I know, but at the time,
I was having chemo and radio
1523
01:31:38,576 --> 01:31:41,162
and stuff that was buying time.
1524
01:31:41,246 --> 01:31:43,039
But they're only words, honey.
1525
01:31:43,373 --> 01:31:46,543
You know, before when
you were doing the show,
1526
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:48,878
when you were doing the
Spartacus show,
1527
01:31:48,962 --> 01:31:50,922
before the camera used to roll,
1528
01:31:51,464 --> 01:31:54,384
you used to do this thing
where, like,
1529
01:31:54,467 --> 01:31:58,471
you know you'd be getting
psyched up and you'd go
[grunts].
1530
01:31:58,555 --> 01:32:01,015
Like I can't remember, you'd
always do the same thing
1531
01:32:01,099 --> 01:32:03,351
every time, like bit like
a tennis player
1532
01:32:03,435 --> 01:32:05,061
or whatever
would do their thing.
1533
01:32:05,145 --> 01:32:06,396
Like you'd always do it.
1534
01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:09,858
And it's time to do that
for this.
1535
01:32:13,445 --> 01:32:14,654
Whatever the... you're right.
1536
01:32:14,738 --> 01:32:16,948
I mean, it's hardly any
different from yesterday,
is it?
1537
01:32:17,157 --> 01:32:18,158
[Vashti] Well, it's no
different.
1538
01:32:18,241 --> 01:32:21,161
In fact, it's not as bad as
the day I was first diagnosed
1539
01:32:21,286 --> 01:32:24,831
a year and a half ago,
where I had stage four.
1540
01:32:27,375 --> 01:32:28,293
Everywhere.
1541
01:32:31,337 --> 01:32:33,047
You've got to get through it.
1542
01:32:33,131 --> 01:32:34,257
You will get through it.
1543
01:32:34,716 --> 01:32:37,135
But you have got to roll your
sleeves up.
1544
01:32:39,053 --> 01:32:40,638
They are a bunch of words.
1545
01:32:41,097 --> 01:32:43,183
If you believe them
and put weight in them,
1546
01:32:43,266 --> 01:32:44,684
they will become our reality.
1547
01:32:45,435 --> 01:32:46,269
Full stop.
1548
01:32:50,023 --> 01:32:50,982
Wow.
1549
01:32:51,858 --> 01:32:52,942
It's never dull.
1550
01:32:56,988 --> 01:32:57,822
Wow.
1551
01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:13,379
From my oncologist's
point of view,
1552
01:33:13,463 --> 01:33:14,756
there's no treatment for me.
1553
01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:18,176
And in that has come
a sort of sense of...
1554
01:33:23,973 --> 01:33:25,475
I guess, liberation.
1555
01:33:25,558 --> 01:33:30,480
I feel like I'm excited
to be in control of it
1556
01:33:31,481 --> 01:33:33,525
and I think that's the main
thing is control of it.
1557
01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:34,901
It's the thing I haven't had.
1558
01:33:35,860 --> 01:33:36,986
I felt powerless.
1559
01:33:37,070 --> 01:33:40,156
I felt in a system that...
1560
01:33:41,533 --> 01:33:43,284
just grouped me
with other people
1561
01:33:43,368 --> 01:33:44,828
and gave me the same cocktail
1562
01:33:45,537 --> 01:33:49,290
and hoped it would work
and I feel it's got to be
1563
01:33:49,374 --> 01:33:51,292
much more fine-tuned than that.
1564
01:34:06,266 --> 01:34:07,642
The main thing
I'm looking for
1565
01:34:07,725 --> 01:34:12,188
is inspiration and to be
with like-minded people
1566
01:34:12,272 --> 01:34:17,318
who have survived 10, 20, 30
40 years against the odds.
1567
01:34:20,321 --> 01:34:21,990
So, it's about being
in this group
1568
01:34:22,073 --> 01:34:24,909
over here where
everything's possible.
1569
01:34:26,953 --> 01:34:30,373
I have to find another way
to keep this lymphoma at bay
1570
01:34:30,456 --> 01:34:32,458
or make it
so it doesn't affect me.
1571
01:34:34,961 --> 01:34:36,462
It's up to me now.
1572
01:35:01,529 --> 01:35:03,948
I'm packing up the apartment
1573
01:35:04,032 --> 01:35:06,284
because we're moving house
on Friday.
1574
01:35:07,368 --> 01:35:12,665
What sparked that was that Andy
can no longer do the stairs.
1575
01:35:19,297 --> 01:35:22,050
And we have Andy's mum here
who arrived last Wednesday
1576
01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:27,555
to see us, stay with us,
see Andy, just be around.
1577
01:35:29,641 --> 01:35:30,934
And she's been amazing.
1578
01:35:31,017 --> 01:35:33,061
There's no smiling through it
saying, "Everything's fine."
1579
01:35:33,144 --> 01:35:34,854
You know, she's really present.
1580
01:35:35,188 --> 01:35:37,190
And she gets
where the situation is at.
1581
01:35:38,441 --> 01:35:39,275
It's massive.
1582
01:35:39,359 --> 01:35:41,027
That sofa could go in there.
1583
01:35:42,737 --> 01:35:45,114
Anyway, we'll work
all that out later.
1584
01:35:46,991 --> 01:35:49,535
[Andy]
I'm sort of juggling pain
and insanity at the moment,
1585
01:35:50,244 --> 01:35:56,250
and on top of that, my left
leg started to get numb.
1586
01:35:57,210 --> 01:35:58,836
[Vashti] Are you going to
be okay getting down, honey?
1587
01:35:58,920 --> 01:36:00,380
Yeah, I'm just trying to
remember what
1588
01:36:00,463 --> 01:36:04,425
they taught me so I don't
fall down the stairs.
1589
01:36:04,509 --> 01:36:05,885
[Vashti] It's going to be
a real adjustment.
1590
01:36:06,052 --> 01:36:07,178
And that's hard.
1591
01:36:08,221 --> 01:36:09,222
It's really hard.
1592
01:36:11,140 --> 01:36:15,186
You just go, "Will I ever get,
you know,
1593
01:36:15,269 --> 01:36:17,021
when will I get
my husband back?"
1594
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:19,232
[weakly]
I don't know about that.
1595
01:36:20,525 --> 01:36:23,236
So, it's just adjusting to that
1596
01:36:24,278 --> 01:36:26,364
and holding a space
for that being possible
1597
01:36:26,447 --> 01:36:29,075
and then seeing the
breakdown, you know,
1598
01:36:29,951 --> 01:36:33,371
quicken and accelerate
and just going,
1599
01:36:33,454 --> 01:36:35,081
"okay how do we stop
that acceleration?"
1600
01:36:36,457 --> 01:36:37,667
So, I need to support him
1601
01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:40,878
to do something
to stop that acceleration.
1602
01:36:41,129 --> 01:36:43,381
But, I actually thought
it's a really nice space
1603
01:36:43,464 --> 01:36:46,009
to have kids playing around,
and you know.
1604
01:36:46,467 --> 01:36:50,138
I just get a sense that
something like cancer
1605
01:36:50,221 --> 01:36:53,307
has a switch and...
1606
01:36:54,142 --> 01:36:55,435
you can...
1607
01:36:56,561 --> 01:36:59,522
reverse it if you find
out where that switch is.
1608
01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:05,778
And I guess I'm in that
stage of exploration
1609
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:08,656
of what or where
that switch is.
1610
01:37:10,199 --> 01:37:13,453
But, damn, it would be
good to go to New Zealand
1611
01:37:14,120 --> 01:37:18,583
and have some acupuncture
and get some tangible,
1612
01:37:19,500 --> 01:37:21,919
you know, changes in my body.
1613
01:37:23,629 --> 01:37:24,797
So that's the plan.
1614
01:37:33,306 --> 01:37:36,517
The speed at which things
are moving or have changed.
1615
01:37:39,812 --> 01:37:43,149
I guess it's brought
another level of...
1616
01:37:45,443 --> 01:37:47,904
anxiety and I'm not
really sure where Vashti is
1617
01:37:48,446 --> 01:37:51,157
with this because she's
doing an incredible job
1618
01:37:51,240 --> 01:37:52,658
of just getting on
with everything.
1619
01:37:53,284 --> 01:37:55,161
[Jesse] I'm really
proud of you, daddy.
1620
01:37:55,328 --> 01:37:56,496
Oh, my darling.
1621
01:37:56,996 --> 01:37:58,081
I love you.
1622
01:37:58,790 --> 01:38:00,166
[Vashti] Big give cuddles
to daddy bear.
1623
01:38:00,249 --> 01:38:01,501
[Jesse] I wish
I could come with.
1624
01:38:01,584 --> 01:38:02,668
[Vashti] Well, you know what?
1625
01:38:02,752 --> 01:38:03,878
Another time.
1626
01:38:04,962 --> 01:38:07,548
We've got to look after
the house, okay?
1627
01:38:07,673 --> 01:38:09,801
[Andy] I want to continue
this life
1628
01:38:09,884 --> 01:38:11,969
with seeing my children
grow up.
1629
01:38:12,637 --> 01:38:14,263
But let's say I didn't make it.
1630
01:38:15,348 --> 01:38:17,225
I know Vashti would
get through.
1631
01:38:17,892 --> 01:38:19,602
You know,
she's bring up our kids
1632
01:38:19,769 --> 01:38:22,438
and my kids would have
an extraordinary life.
1633
01:38:22,647 --> 01:38:24,607
I'll be at the end
of the phone, okay?
1634
01:38:25,817 --> 01:38:26,818
I love you.
1635
01:38:27,110 --> 01:38:28,194
[Andy] I love you too.
1636
01:38:28,694 --> 01:38:30,571
[Vashti] Bye, bye.
1637
01:38:31,781 --> 01:38:35,409
I don't regret, you know,
the way I've approached it.
1638
01:38:39,080 --> 01:38:41,499
You know at the end of
the day, life happens.
1639
01:38:42,125 --> 01:38:44,627
Don't try to deny
that it's there.
1640
01:38:45,128 --> 01:38:46,295
Experience it.
1641
01:38:47,964 --> 01:38:49,340
Brave daddy bear.
1642
01:38:49,841 --> 01:38:51,843
Okay, let's get and get warm.
1643
01:38:54,262 --> 01:38:55,513
[Andy] I just think
it's all a part
1644
01:38:55,596 --> 01:38:57,765
of some amazing journey,
you know?
1645
01:39:00,643 --> 01:39:02,145
I don't know if I would
have ever looked at it
1646
01:39:02,228 --> 01:39:05,982
that way had I not spent the
last 12 years with Vashti.
1647
01:39:29,589 --> 01:39:31,424
When I said goodbye
to Andy in the cab,
1648
01:39:31,507 --> 01:39:34,260
I didn't think in less
than a week,
1649
01:39:34,343 --> 01:39:36,095
I was going to be going up
to collect my husband
1650
01:39:36,179 --> 01:39:39,849
who I felt had very,
very short time left.
1651
01:39:41,475 --> 01:39:43,269
[woman over PA] Ladies and
gentlemen, we're about to land.
1652
01:39:43,477 --> 01:39:44,854
Please fasten your seat belts.
1653
01:39:46,564 --> 01:39:49,775
When I got to New Zealand,
it was quite shocking.
1654
01:39:51,444 --> 01:39:53,613
He was so in and out of...
1655
01:39:56,324 --> 01:39:57,158
lucidity.
1656
01:39:59,202 --> 01:40:01,621
And suddenly,
he did this snap
into focus,
1657
01:40:02,163 --> 01:40:03,539
and he said, "I wanna go home."
1658
01:40:05,541 --> 01:40:08,127
Because somewhere in him,
he knew it was time to go,
1659
01:40:08,336 --> 01:40:09,545
and he wanted to go home.
1660
01:40:14,759 --> 01:40:16,552
But the whole journey
I watched Andy
1661
01:40:16,636 --> 01:40:18,930
because I wasn't sure
he was gonna make it.
1662
01:40:23,809 --> 01:40:26,729
And in the morning, we
took him to the hospice.
1663
01:40:29,732 --> 01:40:31,901
And when I started
to see Andy fading,
1664
01:40:32,443 --> 01:40:36,197
I brought the kids in
and I said,
1665
01:40:36,280 --> 01:40:39,116
"The kids have come to
say goodbye now, darling."
1666
01:40:40,284 --> 01:40:41,911
And he said,
"I'm going to go soon
1667
01:40:41,994 --> 01:40:43,329
and I have to go up to heaven
1668
01:40:43,412 --> 01:40:46,123
because my body's
really broken."
1669
01:40:46,207 --> 01:40:47,792
And Indi went, "Why, daddy?"
1670
01:40:47,875 --> 01:40:50,544
And he said, "Because my body
is broken like a butterfly.
1671
01:40:50,628 --> 01:40:54,298
When its wing is broken,
it really can't fly anymore.
1672
01:40:54,382 --> 01:40:55,591
It has to go."
1673
01:40:56,008 --> 01:40:57,260
And he said, "But don't worry
because
1674
01:40:57,343 --> 01:40:59,595
I'm going to go up into
the sky and every time
1675
01:40:59,679 --> 01:41:01,180
you need to see me,
I will be there.
1676
01:41:01,264 --> 01:41:02,640
Just look for me."
1677
01:41:04,767 --> 01:41:07,645
And that was how he said
goodbye to the kids. [crying]
1678
01:41:13,693 --> 01:41:17,238
And I laid down next to
him, and we just laid still
1679
01:41:17,571 --> 01:41:20,283
and there was this moment
where I said to him,
1680
01:41:21,659 --> 01:41:24,328
"I need you to know
how much I love you."
1681
01:41:25,121 --> 01:41:28,457
And he kind of just sounded,
he made this funny noise.
1682
01:41:28,541 --> 01:41:30,835
He just made this, like,
"I love you."
1683
01:41:30,918 --> 01:41:36,340
He sounded like Rocky after
just winning his fight.
1684
01:41:36,424 --> 01:41:38,009
But, I, you know, I got it.
1685
01:41:38,801 --> 01:41:41,929
And it was amazing that
he, out of nowhere,
1686
01:41:42,013 --> 01:41:44,432
was able to do that,
you know, just to honor.
1687
01:41:45,224 --> 01:41:47,560
I didn't need to hear it,
I know it. I knew it.
1688
01:41:51,314 --> 01:41:54,108
He just took these
big deep breaths
1689
01:41:54,942 --> 01:41:56,402
and then he just died.
1690
01:42:03,868 --> 01:42:06,245
It was a very beautiful,
peaceful moment.
1691
01:42:09,665 --> 01:42:11,542
And I felt like he went to
1692
01:42:11,625 --> 01:42:13,753
suddenly being really strong
again.
1693
01:42:19,008 --> 01:42:22,011
[soft violin music]
1694
01:42:49,830 --> 01:42:52,833
We opened our front door
in Sydney and...
1695
01:42:53,000 --> 01:42:54,293
it's got big
black and white tiles,
1696
01:42:54,377 --> 01:42:58,881
and literally, laid out
perfectly in the center
1697
01:42:59,215 --> 01:43:01,425
of the front door step
is this exquisite
1698
01:43:01,509 --> 01:43:04,929
big black and white butterfly
and the kids are like,
1699
01:43:05,054 --> 01:43:07,348
"Oh, my god,
there's a butterfly.
1700
01:43:07,431 --> 01:43:09,100
Dad has come to visit us.
1701
01:43:09,183 --> 01:43:11,936
Look, it's just like dad,
it's got a broken wing."
1702
01:43:13,813 --> 01:43:16,982
It was a really extraordinary
experience just seeing
1703
01:43:17,066 --> 01:43:20,653
how my children had created
this really wonderful
1704
01:43:20,736 --> 01:43:22,530
kind of symbol of their dad.
1705
01:43:24,073 --> 01:43:27,952
And so I see this little
man have this happen to him,
1706
01:43:28,035 --> 01:43:31,247
and this little girl
and I know that it can
1707
01:43:31,330 --> 01:43:35,668
only have them be more
extraordinary
1708
01:43:35,751 --> 01:43:37,503
and I believe that 100%.
1709
01:43:41,257 --> 01:43:42,383
[kids playful]
1710
01:43:43,717 --> 01:43:45,219
How high can they go?
1711
01:43:45,636 --> 01:43:48,973
And for me,
I lost my best friend
1712
01:43:49,723 --> 01:43:55,396
and I lost my husband
of like 10 years,
1713
01:43:55,479 --> 01:43:58,274
and my lover of 13 years,
1714
01:43:59,525 --> 01:44:01,152
and it hurts like a fucker.
1715
01:44:01,235 --> 01:44:04,613
But the reality is
that I got 13 years
1716
01:44:04,697 --> 01:44:06,449
of the most extraordinary
relationship
1717
01:44:06,907 --> 01:44:09,243
and lived a crazy life
and beautiful life.
1718
01:44:11,328 --> 01:44:14,665
I don't see how you can't
turn something like this
1719
01:44:15,416 --> 01:44:17,501
into something wonderful.
1720
01:44:19,545 --> 01:44:21,797
Because what else
is there to do?
1721
01:44:26,844 --> 01:44:30,973
And he would be so proud
because it has all been
1722
01:44:31,056 --> 01:44:33,267
initiated by him.
1723
01:44:37,229 --> 01:44:38,981
Andy just came to join us.
1724
01:44:40,566 --> 01:44:43,736
The way that he chose
to live and...
1725
01:44:43,819 --> 01:44:47,323
his quiet ambition for making
things happen in his life.
1726
01:44:48,824 --> 01:44:51,869
It's really inspired me
to just be empowered
1727
01:44:51,952 --> 01:44:54,330
and try things
myself for the first time.
1728
01:44:54,830 --> 01:44:57,082
And it feels kind of exciting.
1729
01:44:57,249 --> 01:44:58,250
Hoo! Hoo!
1730
01:44:59,668 --> 01:45:01,337
Hello, little elves.
1731
01:45:02,379 --> 01:45:06,091
And, by the way, that's
how he ran his life.
1732
01:45:06,258 --> 01:45:07,468
And he still died.
1733
01:45:08,052 --> 01:45:10,054
So, all this stuff
about being powerful
1734
01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:12,723
at manifestation and
making the most of life
1735
01:45:12,806 --> 01:45:14,600
doesn't mean you're going
to get happily ever after.
1736
01:45:14,683 --> 01:45:16,185
But, that's the whole point.
1737
01:45:16,268 --> 01:45:18,979
It's like, you get
what you get
to make the most of it
1738
01:45:19,188 --> 01:45:21,774
because it can
be something extraordinary.
1739
01:45:24,860 --> 01:45:26,570
Come on, let's go, let's go.
1740
01:45:26,987 --> 01:45:30,991
But, for now, we're just going
to focus on being here now,
1741
01:45:31,075 --> 01:45:35,079
as cheesy as that sounds,
and living more fully.
1742
01:45:35,621 --> 01:45:38,165
So really enjoying life
and making the most of it.
1743
01:45:58,310 --> 01:46:02,481
♪ Look at the world a
As it's turning ♪
1744
01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:09,863
♪ Look at the light as
It shines down on me ♪
1745
01:46:11,073 --> 01:46:15,536
♪ Every star softly burning ♪
1746
01:46:17,454 --> 01:46:22,960
♪ Every atom of life
in the sea ♪
1747
01:46:24,461 --> 01:46:27,923
♪ It's such a beautiful world ♪
1748
01:46:28,007 --> 01:46:32,678
♪ Can't we all live as one
And in peace ♪
1749
01:46:35,639 --> 01:46:40,394
♪ Oh, it's such
A beautiful world ♪
1750
01:46:40,477 --> 01:46:45,649
♪ And if you want it,
You just have to believe ♪
1751
01:46:48,652 --> 01:46:53,032
♪ Open your eyes
And you'll see ♪
1752
01:46:56,243 --> 01:47:00,623
♪ Look at the world
As it's turning ♪
1753
01:47:02,666 --> 01:47:08,213
♪ Infinite life lived at
Infinite speeds ♪
1754
01:47:08,672 --> 01:47:14,637
♪ Every smell, every sound,
Every color ♪
1755
01:47:15,387 --> 01:47:20,684
♪ All that is you makes up all
That is me ♪
1756
01:47:22,186 --> 01:47:25,314
♪ It's such a beautiful world ♪
1757
01:47:25,397 --> 01:47:31,070
♪ Can't we all live as one
And in peace ♪
1758
01:47:33,489 --> 01:47:38,327
♪ Oh, it's such
A beautiful world ♪
1759
01:47:38,869 --> 01:47:43,666
♪ And if you want it
You just have to believe ♪
1760
01:47:47,461 --> 01:47:51,256
♪ Open your eyes
And you'll see ♪
1761
01:47:53,676 --> 01:47:58,222
♪ Open your eyes
And you'll see ♪
1762
01:48:27,042 --> 01:48:30,421
♪ It's such
A beautiful world ♪
1763
01:48:30,504 --> 01:48:35,509
♪ Can't we all live as one
And in peace ♪
1764
01:48:38,303 --> 01:48:42,975
♪ Oh, it's such
A beautiful world ♪
1765
01:48:43,058 --> 01:48:49,064
♪ And if you want it,
You just have to believe ♪
1766
01:48:49,398 --> 01:48:52,151
♪ Ohh, ohh ♪
1767
01:48:52,735 --> 01:48:56,572
♪ It's such a beautiful world ♪
1768
01:48:59,324 --> 01:49:04,121
♪ It's such a beautiful world ♪
1769
01:49:05,873 --> 01:49:08,959
♪ It's such a beautiful world ♪
1770
01:49:09,042 --> 01:49:14,715
♪ And if you want it,
You just have to believe ♪
1771
01:49:17,342 --> 01:49:21,346
♪ Open your eyes
And you'll see ♪
1772
01:49:24,475 --> 01:49:29,271
♪ Look at the world
As it's turning ♪
1773
01:49:31,440 --> 01:49:37,070
♪ Look at the light as
It shines down on me ♪